The Wilderness: Doubt

The Wilderness: Doubt
Rev. Mark Schaefer
Kay Spiritual Life Center
March 18, 2007
Genesis 32:22-32, 2Corinthians 4:16-5:7, Mark 4:35-41

Gen. 32:22   The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." 28 Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed." 29 Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved." 31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the hip socket, because he struck Jacob on the hip socket at the thigh muscle.

2Cor. 4:16   So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. 5:1   For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling-- 3 if indeed, when we have taken it off we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan under our burden, because we wish not to be unclothed but to be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6   So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord-- 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Mark 4:35   On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." 36 And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. 37 A great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 39 He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. 40 He said to them, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?" 41 And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?"

We are in the midst of Lent--the 40 days in the Wilderness before the Promised Land of Easter. During our time in this wilderness we will sojourn through three different kinds of wilderness experience: doubt, defeat, and death. Tonight we explore doubt.

I. BEGINNING

What do you doubt? I doubt pretty much every weather forecast I see on television. I doubt that Virginia and Maryland schools can refrain from closing when the forecast is for less than an inch of snow. I doubt very much that I will get through the line in a timely manner at some of the places here on campus.

What are some of the things that you doubt? That are hard for you to even accept as likely, or even possible? I think most of the doubts we have are based in our experience. I doubt the weather because they keep predicting snow and it doesn't show up. I doubt that I'll get my food quickly because of all the times I've waited. The reason we have doubts in anything, really, are often the result of the things we have experienced. Our experiences make us unlikely to believe in something we haven't seen. And so we doubt.

II. THE TEXT: LOSING FAITH

So, we hear time and time again that the problem with us is not enough faith. Too often we fall prey to doubt. This is the problem the disciples have. They are traveling in a boat on the Sea of Galilee when a storm comes up. The storm is fierce but Jesus is sleeping in the back. The disciples, however, are scared to death. They wake Jesus who rebukes the wind and the sea and they become still. He then turns to the disciples and says, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?"

The message is clear--the failure of the disciples is that they lacked faith. They doubted. They worried.

Who wouldn't? I mean, you're in a little boat sailing across the Sea of Galilee and a storm comes up that is about to swamp your boat and you're telling me you wouldn't be worried? Of course you'd be worried. You're about to get tossed in the sea. If the basic message is that in an extreme situation like that we're not supposed to lose faith, that's gonna be hard for a lot of people.

It's like that song from years back, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin. It a great little song, but it's insipid advice. If you followed the advice of that song, people would view that as a sign of mental illness.

Not doubting and having perfect faith is a pretty high standard to live up to. And it no doubt creates all kinds of anxieties in the heart of the Christian.

Especially for Protestants. For Protestant theology is all built around the words of Ephesians that "by grace you have been saved through faith." Faith is the cornerstone of Protestant theology. Doubt--it would seem--is the opposite to faith. One of the synonyms given for doubt is "disbelieve". It's hard to make it any clearer than that.

And so, those of us who experience doubt are further burdened with the guilt we have for doubting in the first place. We are unsure, and then we are anxious because we are unsure.

III. THE CERTAINTIES AND THE UNCERTAINTIES

Christian faith is built around one core idea: the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth from the dead. This is the most significant element of our faith. Without it, there is no Christianity. Without the resurrection, there is no need for us to meet weekly. There is no reason for us to identify ourselves as followers of Jesus--we need not be Christian to admire Jesus' teachings--lots of people do that. Gandhi was a huge admirer of Jesus, and he was not a Christian.

A. The Uncertainties

And yet, the resurrection is a hard one for a lot of people to swallow. It's a hard thing not to doubt. Because, after all, when does such a thing happen? How many people do you know who have come back from the dead? How many of them did you really want to? Did you pray to God to keep them alive in the first place? And those things did not happen. It's a hard thing to take at face value given our experience in the world. We find ourselves very sympathetic when we read about Thomas and his doubts.

The Gospels even factor this doubt in. Matthew's Gospel even addresses a story that was circulating that the disciples had stolen the body from the empty tomb. Clearly, within decades of that first Easter, already significant doubts were around about it.

But there is so much uncertainty and doubt. We claim that God is a God of perfect justice, but where in the world do we see this justice? We are well within our rights to doubt that one--all we need do is look around. We claim that God is a God of love. Oh, really? So many of his followers seem to be filled with hate. This loving God business seems pretty hard to accept. Humanity is made in the image of God, so we say. That seems really dubious--you mean these same humans who ruin the creation and hurt and mistreat and exploit one another? What kind of God, exactly, are we made in the image of?

Our Christian faith seems to tell us that the things we can look at and see that are obvious are not the things that we are to put our confidence in. There is a lot of uncertainty. A lot of doubt.

B. The Certainties

For those who look for something to hold on to, we come once again to St. Paul and his first letter to the Corinthians.

1Cor. 15:3 For I handed on to you as of first importance what I in turn had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, 4 and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me.

"Last of all... he appeared also to me." Those words right there are the only words providing a first-hand account of the resurrection that we have. None of the Gospels was written by an eyewitness. And while a number of the letters of Paul are of dubious authenticity, 1 Corinthians is one that is, without a doubt, written by Paul. This is about as close to actual proof as anything we have in the scriptures. If you want a little hook to hang onto, here is one to hang our theological hats on.

Maybe, on some level, we have it backward. Perhaps looking for certainty isn't the way to cope with our doubt.

IV. THE NECESSITY OF DOUBT

In Mark's telling of the Gospel, when Jesus is crucified he calls out in agony: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"

In the past year, an old tradition from the old Protestant Community has resurfaced: the post-church community dinner in the tavern. The best thing about those dinners is not the food. It's certainly not the décor--not since they changed the look of the Tavern 4 years ago, anyway. It was always the conversations. And some of those conversations have stuck with me throughout the years. I remember one in particular with a student named Lou Belsito who was positing the idea that while Jesus may have been the Son of God, he believed that Jesus didn't know he was the Son of God. This was the only way he could explain Jesus' words "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me". But also, and more importantly, this was the only way that the cross could be seen as an act of faith .

That is, if Jesus had perfect foreknowledge, knew exactly what was going to happen, then the cross is a formality. But if Jesus himself was capable of doubt, and went to the cross willingly in spite of that doubt, that is faith . I think that is the kind of faith that St. Paul talks about so frequently--and a faith that is so often mistranslated. Paul talks about us being saved by pistis Christou which everyone usually translates as "faith in Christ". While that translation remains a possibility, the most obvious meaning of the Greek is "faith of Christ". That is, it is the faith of Christ that saves. That is, Christ's faith was strong enough to save us on its own. Paul isn't talking about what it is we bring to the table, but what it is that Christ brings. It doesn't require our perfect faith or freedom from doubt. It also carries with it the meaning of our having the faith of Christ.

What is that Christ-faith? It is a faith that trusts in God even in the midst of doubt. A faith that embraces doubt aloud and cries out "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" But it is a faith that is not overwhelmed by doubt and fear, but trusts in God's love and grace.

That is the faith we are meant to have.

Faith without doubt isn't really faith. It's a mental disorder. People who have no doubt, who know all the answers, who have everything worked out, a direct line to God... these are the people you shouldn't trust your children with. There is something a little bit odd, isnt' there, about someone who has the answers for everything, who doesn't doubt at all. That's not an honest place to be.

An honest faith embraces doubt. You know what, folks, if it's about you and me getting rid of our doubts, we're in trouble. We're not going to get rid of them. We're not going to see a world in this lifetime that confirms all the things we've hoped for. We're not going to see people acting righteously all the time.

Our faith is not the result of empirical observation. It is the result of a choice we make to step out into the unknown, to take that leap of faith, to trust in God in spite of our doubts. To walk by faith and not by sight... Doubt is necessary to faith.

V. END

As Christians, we probably don't read enough of the Old Testament. It's a shame, really. It's a good deal bigger than the New Testament. It was written over 1,000 years, as opposed to the New Testament's 100 or so. But more to the point, it shows that a life of faith is not a life of absolute security in one's beliefs or understandings. In fact, as Jacob's experience at Peniel shows, it is a life of wrestling with God. While some contend that the name "Israel" that Jacob is given after this divine encounter means 'strives for God', it is clear that the narrator of the story intends it to be understood as 'strives with God'.

We will never be free of doubt. A person who has no doubt usually has some kind of mental illness. And a person who does not have doubts about matters of faith simply hasn't been paying attention. There is much to doubt. Much to wonder about. Much to wrestle with.

That wrestling, is part of who we are. It is part of our lives as a people of faith. We are in a relationship with a God who meets us where we are. A relationship that does not depend on our having everything worked out without doubt. A God who loves us in spite of our doubts and imperfections. A God who loves us even as we wrestle with the mysteries and the uncertainties and the doubt.

But it is in the wrestling in the Wilderness, that we, like Jacob, encounter God.

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*The Wilderness: Doubt* Rev. Mark Schaefer Kay Spiritual Life Center March 18, 2007 Genesis 32:22-32, 2Corinthians 4:16-5:7, Mark 4:35-41 Gen. 32:22 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. 24 Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, "Let me go, for the day is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go, unless you bless me." 27 So he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." 28 Then the man said, "You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed." 29 Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved." 31 The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the hip socket, because he struck Jacob on the hip socket at the thigh muscle. 2Cor. 4:16 So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal. 5:1 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this tent we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling-- 3 if indeed, when we have taken it off we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are still in this tent, we groan under our burden, because we wish not to be unclothed but to be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6 So we are always confident; even though we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord-- 7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. Mark 4:35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." 36 And leaving the crowd behind, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. Other boats were with him. 37 A great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that the boat was already being swamped. 38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke him up and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 39 He woke up and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" Then the wind ceased, and there was a dead calm. 40 He said to them, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?" 41 And they were filled with great awe and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" We are in the midst of Lent--the 40 days in the Wilderness before the Promised Land of Easter. During our time in this wilderness we will sojourn through three different kinds of wilderness experience: doubt, defeat, and death. Tonight we explore doubt. I. BEGINNING What do you doubt? I doubt pretty much every weather forecast I see on television. I doubt that Virginia and Maryland schools can refrain from closing when the forecast is for less than an inch of snow. I doubt very much that I will get through the line in a timely manner at some of the places here on campus. What are some of the things that you doubt? That are hard for you to even accept as likely, or even possible? I think most of the doubts we have are based in our experience. I doubt the weather because they keep predicting snow and it doesn't show up. I doubt that I'll get my food quickly because of all the times I've waited. The reason we have doubts in anything, really, are often the result of the things we have experienced. Our experiences make us unlikely to believe in something we haven't seen. And so we doubt. II. THE TEXT: LOSING FAITH So, we hear time and time again that the problem with us is not enough faith. Too often we fall prey to doubt. This is the problem the disciples have. They are traveling in a boat on the Sea of Galilee when a storm comes up. The storm is fierce but Jesus is sleeping in the back. The disciples, however, are scared to death. They wake Jesus who rebukes the wind and the sea and they become still. He then turns to the disciples and says, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?" The message is clear--the failure of the disciples is that they lacked faith. They doubted. They worried. Who wouldn't? I mean, you're in a little boat sailing across the Sea of Galilee and a storm comes up that is about to swamp your boat and you're telling me you wouldn't be worried? Of course you'd be worried. You're about to get tossed in the sea. If the basic message is that in an extreme situation like that we're not supposed to lose faith, that's gonna be hard for a lot of people. It's like that song from years back, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin. It a great little song, but it's insipid advice. If you followed the advice of that song, people would view that as a sign of mental illness. Not doubting and having perfect faith is a pretty high standard to live up to. And it no doubt creates all kinds of anxieties in the heart of the Christian. Especially for Protestants. For Protestant theology is all built around the words of Ephesians that "by grace you have been saved through faith." Faith is the cornerstone of Protestant theology. Doubt--it would seem--is the opposite to faith. One of the synonyms given for doubt is "disbelieve". It's hard to make it any clearer than that. And so, those of us who experience doubt are further burdened with the guilt we have for doubting in the first place. We are unsure, and then we are anxious because we are unsure. III. THE CERTAINTIES AND THE UNCERTAINTIES Christian faith is built around one core idea: the Resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth from the dead. This is the most significant element of our faith. Without it, there is no Christianity. Without the resurrection, there is no need for us to meet weekly. There is no reason for us to identify ourselves as followers of Jesus--we need not be Christian to admire Jesus' teachings--lots of people do that. Gandhi was a huge admirer of Jesus, and he was not a Christian. A. The Uncertainties And yet, the resurrection is a hard one for a lot of people to swallow. It's a hard thing not to doubt. Because, after all, when does such a thing happen? How many people do you know who have come back from the dead? How many of them did you really want to? Did you pray to God to keep them alive in the first place? And those things did not happen. It's a hard thing to take at face value given our experience in the world. We find ourselves very sympathetic when we read about Thomas and his doubts. The Gospels even factor this doubt in. Matthew's Gospel even addresses a story that was circulating that the disciples had stolen the body from the empty tomb. Clearly, within decades of that first Easter, already significant doubts were around about it. But there is so much uncertainty and doubt. We claim that God is a God of perfect justice, but where in the world do we see this justice? We are well within our rights to doubt that one--all we need do is look around. We claim that God is a God of love. Oh, really? So many of his followers seem to be filled with hate. This loving God business seems pretty hard to accept. Humanity is made in the image of God, so we say. That seems really dubious--you mean these same humans who ruin the creation and hurt and mistreat and exploit one another? What kind of God, exactly, are we made in the image of? Our Christian faith seems to tell us that the things we can look at and see that are obvious are not the things that we are to put our confidence in. There is a lot of uncertainty. A lot of doubt. B. The Certainties For those who look for something to hold on to, we come once again to St. Paul and his first letter to the Corinthians. 1Cor. 15:3 For I handed on to you as of first importance what I in turn had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, 4 and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me. "Last of all... he appeared also to me." Those words right there are the only words providing a first-hand account of the resurrection that we have. None of the Gospels was written by an eyewitness. And while a number of the letters of Paul are of dubious authenticity, 1 Corinthians is one that is, without a doubt, written by Paul. This is about as close to actual proof as anything we have in the scriptures. If you want a little hook to hang onto, here is one to hang our theological hats on. Maybe, on some level, we have it backward. Perhaps looking for certainty isn't the way to cope with our doubt. IV. THE NECESSITY OF DOUBT In Mark's telling of the Gospel, when Jesus is crucified he calls out in agony: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" In the past year, an old tradition from the old Protestant Community has resurfaced: the post-church community dinner in the tavern. The best thing about those dinners is not the food. It's certainly not the décor--not since they changed the look of the Tavern 4 years ago, anyway. It was always the conversations. And some of those conversations have stuck with me throughout the years. I remember one in particular with a student named Lou Belsito who was positing the idea that while Jesus may have been the Son of God, he believed that Jesus didn't know he was the Son of God. This was the only way he could explain Jesus' words "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me". But also, and more importantly, this was the only way that the cross could be seen as an act of faith . That is, if Jesus had perfect foreknowledge, knew exactly what was going to happen, then the cross is a formality. But if Jesus himself was capable of doubt, and went to the cross willingly in spite of that doubt, that is faith . I think that is the kind of faith that St. Paul talks about so frequently--and a faith that is so often mistranslated. Paul talks about us being saved by pistis Christou which everyone usually translates as "faith in Christ". While that translation remains a possibility, the most obvious meaning of the Greek is "faith of Christ". That is, it is the faith of Christ that saves. That is, Christ's faith was strong enough to save us on its own. Paul isn't talking about what it is we bring to the table, but what it is that Christ brings. It doesn't require our perfect faith or freedom from doubt. It also carries with it the meaning of our having the faith of Christ. What is that Christ-faith? It is a faith that trusts in God even in the midst of doubt. A faith that embraces doubt aloud and cries out "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" But it is a faith that is not overwhelmed by doubt and fear, but trusts in God's love and grace. That is the faith we are meant to have. Faith without doubt isn't really faith. It's a mental disorder. People who have no doubt, who know all the answers, who have everything worked out, a direct line to God... these are the people you shouldn't trust your children with. There is something a little bit odd, isnt' there, about someone who has the answers for everything, who doesn't doubt at all. That's not an honest place to be. An honest faith embraces doubt. You know what, folks, if it's about you and me getting rid of our doubts, we're in trouble. We're not going to get rid of them. We're not going to see a world in this lifetime that confirms all the things we've hoped for. We're not going to see people acting righteously all the time. Our faith is not the result of empirical observation. It is the result of a choice we make to step out into the unknown, to take that leap of faith, to trust in God in spite of our doubts. To walk by faith and not by sight... Doubt is necessary to faith. V. END As Christians, we probably don't read enough of the Old Testament. It's a shame, really. It's a good deal bigger than the New Testament. It was written over 1,000 years, as opposed to the New Testament's 100 or so. But more to the point, it shows that a life of faith is not a life of absolute security in one's beliefs or understandings. In fact, as Jacob's experience at Peniel shows, it is a life of wrestling with God. While some contend that the name "Israel" that Jacob is given after this divine encounter means 'strives for God', it is clear that the narrator of the story intends it to be understood as 'strives with God'. We will never be free of doubt. A person who has no doubt usually has some kind of mental illness. And a person who does not have doubts about matters of faith simply hasn't been paying attention. There is much to doubt. Much to wonder about. Much to wrestle with. That wrestling, is part of who we are. It is part of our lives as a people of faith. We are in a relationship with a God who meets us where we are. A relationship that does not depend on our having everything worked out without doubt. A God who loves us in spite of our doubts and imperfections. A God who loves us even as we wrestle with the mysteries and the uncertainties and the doubt. But it is in the wrestling in the Wilderness, that we, like Jacob, encounter God. Back to Sermons page Back to AU UMC Home Copyright © 2007. Mark A. Schaefer. No part of this text may be reproduced or otherwise disseminated without the express written consent of the author.

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