9 Lies You Hear in Church: #3. God Never Gives You More Than You Can Bear

Part 3 of the series “9 Lies You Hear in Church
Rev. Mark Schaefer
Kay Spiritual Life Center
September 23, 2012
1 Corinthians 10:6-13; Matthew 11:28-30

Illustration by Rachel Ternes

1 Corinthians 10:6–13 • These things were examples for us, so we won’t crave evil things like they did. Don’t worship false gods like some of them did, as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink and they got up to play. Let’s not practice sexual immorality, like some of them did, and twenty-three thousand died in one day. Let’s not test Christ, like some of them did, and were killed by the snakes. Let’s not grumble, like some of them did, and were killed by the destroyer. These things happened to them as an example and were written as a warning for us to whom the end of time has come. So those who think they are standing need to watch out or else they may fall. No temptation has seized you that isn’t common for people. But God is faithful. He won’t allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it.

Matthew 11:28–30 • “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”


People are surprised to find that at no time in the movie Casablanca does Rick ever say, “Play it again, Sam.”  It is also surprising to know that in over 79 Star Trek episodes and 6 movies, no one ever actually says, “Beam me up, Scotty.” But people all assume that those clichés—and many others, too—are from the films and movies they attribute them, too.

It works the same with the Bible.  There are all kinds of things that people assume the Bible says but it actually doesn’t.  At the top of that list is “The Lord helps those who help themselves” with something like 80% of Christians believing that quote is from the Bible. (It’s actually from the Ancient Greeks by way of Benjamin Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanac).

But in a close second is the statement: “God never gives you more than you can bear.”  It is frequently “quoted” to people in times of distress with great certainty.  Everything will be alright—the suffering one is told—God wouldn’t have given you this trial if you couldn’t get through it.

Right off the bat, however, there are two basic problems with that quote.


First, it’s not in the Bible. There’s a quote like it; but there is nothing that says “God will never give you more than you can bear.”  The quote that is frequently used to back up the idea, from 1 Corinthians, doesn’t really say what people assume it does:

No temptation has seized you that isn’t common for people. But God is faithful. He won’t allow you to be tempted beyond your abilities. Instead, with the temptation, God will also supply a way out so that you will be able to endure it.

Paul is reminding his readers that God will not allow people to be tempted beyond their abilities.  That is, there is no temptation that you should feel you are powerless against, because God would not allow you to be tempted by something you couldn’t resist.  If you’re being tempted, in Paul’s thinking, it’s something you are strong enough to resist.

But that is a far different thing from claiming that nothing will happen to you, that you will not have to bear a burden, that you cannot bear. In fact, in addition to that quote not being in the Bible, we can find plenty of quotes that mean the exact opposite that are in the Bible, including one from Paul himself where he writes:

“Brothers and sisters, we don’t want you to be unaware of the troubles that we went through in Asia. We were weighed down with a load of suffering that was so far beyond our strength that we were afraid we might not survive.” (2 Corinthians 1:8 CEB)

“We were weighed down with a load of sufferings that was so far beyond our strength that we were afraid we might not survive.”  That is quite different from saying “God didn’t give us any burdens we couldn’t bear.”

And elsewhere in scripture we find similar sentiments.  In the Psalms:

“I’m worn out, completely crushed; I groan because of my miserable heart.” (Psalms 38:8 CEB)

“My wrongdoings are stacked higher than my head; they are a weight that’s way too heavy for me.” (Psalms 38:4 CEB)

Elsewhere we read of Elijah being told by an angel:

 “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” (1 Kings 19:7) [1]

Throughout scripture, we encounter people overwhelmed by what befalls them.  And lest we forget, this applies to Jesus, too, who dies in agony on the cross, crying out “My God, My God, why have you left me?”


But the second problem, apart from the fact that this “verse” is not in scripture is that our life experience doesn’t bear it out either.  There are all kinds of things that happen that we cannot bear.  We contract fatal illnesses.  We suffer the death of loved ones.  Sometimes our lives come crashing down around us.

This is the problem I have with what, for lack of a better term, I’ll call “Sentimental Christianity”.  It’s a religion of trite platitudes that are designed to make people feel better with quick, bumper-sticker length snippets of theology.  This theology is usually of the self-help variety (remember, the Lord helps those who help themselves!) and while long on optimism is short on the ability to confront the real brokenness of the world.  For it’s almost as if people never consider the contexts in which such insipid theology fails altogether:

Could you imagine saying to an inmate at Auschwitz, “Don’t worry; God never gives you more than you can bear!”?

Or a woman whose children are killed by a long buried landmine while they were playing?  Or a refugee who surivived the massacre of her entire village?  Or someone who has just been given a diagnosis of a terminal illness? Or someone overwhelmed by grief and loss?  Or someone who through no fault of their own is crushed by depression, anxiety, or other afflictions?  Sentimental Christianity is entirely useless in these circumstances.  And if all we’re prepared to say is “God never gives us more than you can bear” then in situations where such a platitude is clearly false, we are left with nothing to say.

Maybe part of the problem is a problem with Protestantism.  See, unlike the Catholics, we don’t have Jesus on the cross.  It’s just a pretty little shape and easy to draw, too!  It’s harder to remember that it is an instrument of torture, and death, and injustice.  A method of death whereby the victim’s own diaphragm collapses and the person suffocates to death on the cross; his body literally unable to bear its own burden.  A crucifix at least has the virtue of reminding us of that.  Because while our faith is driven by the hope and the promise of the Resurrection, we live very much in a world defined by the Crucifixion.  The shadow of the Cross is large in the world and it is not chased out by sentimental statements that do not jibe with our experience of the world.


As with all the ideas we’re looking at in this sermon series, this one has the potential to do great spiritual violence to the believer.  Because there is a great level of cognitive dissonance among the faithful, many of whom profess belief in this idea but who themselves are being crushed under their burdens.  If God never gives us more than we can bear, they think, and I am being crushed, then what is wrong with me?  What am I doing wrong?  Why isn’t God helping me?

In one online forum, another pastor was taking on this exact belief and challenging it as bad theology. In the comments section of that post was the following:

I have been having a very hard time with that scripture and feeling like a failure as a christian because I felt like I am not strong enough. I lost my sister to cancer and then my baby sister in a wreck and this June I lost my oldest child and everyone kept saying God would not put more on me than I could bear. Tonight I decided to start searching to see if it was scripture and I know that God led me to your page and it has helped to take away the guilt of feeling like a bad christian because I am having such a hard time dealing with the loss of my child.

Image courtesy wordle.net

How many people are suffering great burdens and then on top of that, suffering because they’re suffering?  What cruelty to tell people that they should be able to bear all their problems, else God would not have given them to them and then for those same people to realize that they are outmatched, that they cannot bear what has come their way.  And as with the woman above, the only conclusion they come to is that they are bad Christians, or bad people, or lack proper faith.  Ultimately, in the minds of the faithful, if they’re suffering what has come upon them then it’s their fault.  They have screwed up, because God would certainly never allow this kind of burden to fall on someone who couldn’t bear it.  So the failure to do so must be their own.

This, then, raises yet another problem in addition to the two noted earlier.  In addition to this verse not being Biblical and not being an accurate reflection of our experience, it has one other major failing: it places all the focus in the wrong place.

The sentiment that God never gives you anything more than you can bear makes it about what you can bear.  And as I am fond of saying, if I could add a line to the creeds or to the commandments, it’d be “It’s not about you.”

That is precisely the point that Paul makes in his second letter to the Corinthians.  In the verse that follows immediately after his statement that they were weighed down with a load of sufferings that was so far beyond their strength that they were afraid they might not survive, he writes:

“It certainly seemed to us as if we had gotten the death penalty. This was so that we would have confidence in God, who raises the dead, instead of ourselves.” (2 Corinthians 1:9 CEB)

Note what Paul is saying.  We thought we were finished.  Dead.  We knew that we couldn’t handle it because it was beyond our strength.  But all of that is to remind us that we should have confidence in God and not in ourselves.  What Paul reminds us is that our trials and sufferings are not a measure of how much we can bear.  Indeed, we may often encounter sufferings that are very much more than we can handle.

What Paul does is remind us that the sufferings are not something apart from God. They are not tests sent by God to us, but rather places in which we encounter God.

And that’s why the cross is such an important symbol for us.  And not the empty cross.  The cross with Jesus still on it.  The Cross on which we see the Son of God suffering pain, humiliation, injustice, and violence, to the point of death.

The cross reminds us not only of the brokenness of the world—a brokenness that is glossed over by Sentimental Christianity—but also reminds us that in those times of suffering and pain, we are not alone.  We encounter a God who stands with us in the suffering.  A God who is not apart from that burden and pain, but one who is in it with us.  As Jesus himself says in the Gospel lesson we heard earlier:

“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”

Our faithfulness is not demonstrated by how easily we are able to bear the burdens that come our way.  Our faith is demonstrated by our recognition that we cannot bear the burdens ourselves and trust in the grace of God who bears them with us.

V.   END

But there is yet one more point to note.  For just as we proclaim that God is made known to us through the person of Jesus Christ, we maintain that Christ is made known to the world through the Church that is to be the Body of Christ in the world.  And what that means is that so long as the Church exists, so long as the faithful gather in community to pray, to worship, to reflect, no one has to bear their burdens alone.

The church is not an everyone-lift-yourself-up-by-your-spiritual-bootstraps community.  It is not one that says that the Lord helps those who help themselves or that God never gives you more than you can bear.  Well, it shouldn’t be, anyway.  The whole point of this sermon series is that it all too often is those things.

But the church should be a place where you can come and say, “I have a burden that I cannot bear” and instead of being judged for having a weak faith, you are surrounded by a network of love and support that will bear that burden with you.  Just as Christ takes upon himself the burdens we cast upon him, so too do we, as the Body of Christ, take upon ourselves the burdens of those who come to us.

Faith is not some kind of contest of worthiness.  It is not a simple system of incentives and rewards, of challenges and payoffs.  It is a lifelong journey of facing the struggles of the world and moving forward with hope.  But that kind of faith cannot thrive in a context where you’re told that your faith is judged based on what you’re able to do.  Down that path lies self-doubt, loss of faith, and pain upon pain.  Down that road comes not simply the suffering of the burdens of the world, but the suffering for the fact that we’re suffering in the first place.

But the Gospel reminds us that while our problems do not magically disappear because we have become followers of Christ (in fact, as Paul suggests, they may increase!), we are promised that in those sufferings we are not alone. God does allow us to suffer things we cannot bear… alone.  But we do not have to bear them alone.

For we are surrounded by a community of love and welcome that accepts us in our brokenness, that comforts us in our afflictions, and that stands with us in our times of need.

And in so doing, the Church witnesses to the God who stands beside us in our times of trouble, the God whose very message of salvation is wrapped up in solidarity, and the God who says to us: “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.”

  • two and a half satisfied

    but really, is there an explanation that faith and belief in God and its propagation has to be fragmented and divided into thousands of sects and religions paving the way to different interpretations and more often rift among the believing people? Sorry, but until there will be an actual one true entity of faith, surely then there would be an actual Divine Providence…

    • John White

      It’s sad that we can’t agree on the basics of God enough that we can have one, true church, as we did in the old Roman catholic days. But God is bigger than our theologies, and no one institution “gets it” all the way. What we need is not fewer sects and institutions, oddly enough, but simply people willing to listen to one another. The universal Christian nation, as it were, has gotten a lot better at listening to one another and accepting their differences, much better than have the muslim sects (just to point a finger unjustly). It’s a cop-out to refuse to believe in God because God allows all people individually “to work out their salvation” on their own.

  • Lisa

    Wow. I needed to hear this message so badly 2 1/2 years ago when my life was struck down with despair by an incredibly unforseen and massive spinal injury. I cannot tell you how many christians told me God would not give me more than what I could handle – and how those words devastated me all the more each time they were spoken.

    I told the world “I have a burden that I cannot bear” …and the people in my world did not hear me. I’ve never stopped seeking an understanding of why it is that people say that phrase – and only just the other day did I finally find the true biblical scripture which teaches no such thing. I was at a women’s bible study where the lead speaker misquoted 1 Corinthians 10:13 and uttered those painful words to the crowd “God won’t give us any more than we can bear”…..I immediately began to relive the pain from the past few years, barely able to contain my tears until leaving the room.

    That prompted me to find the scripture in the bible for myself, and read it with my own two eyes. I couldn’t believe how my pain left my heart as I read the true words that were written, and realized everyone else had actually been wrong. All these years I kept telling my husband, “It just doesn’t make sense to me, it just doesn’t make sense!” And now I know why it never made sense – because God never said it.

    If anyone knew how much pain they caused by telling another human they should be able to bear their burdens – I’m sure they wouldn’t say it. I realize now more than ever how important it is to read the bible always with my own two eyes, and never to
    trust blindly from another source – even a pastor or religious speaker. It’s perhaps the greatest lessen I’ve ever learned – that I must always find it in the bible for myself to know what is true.

    • Lisa,

      I too stumbled across this subject through a very divine path. I have been struggling with my father’s recent suicide and I too asked myself why god has given me something more than I feel I can handle. I asked myself how I could handle anything more? This theological discussion has brought some much needed comfort to my heart.

    • Sheila

      Amen Lisa! God holds us accountable for knowing His Word for ourselves.

      • DEZn00ts_1


        • Jo Richmond

          You might be laughing now, but I guarantee you won’t be when it really matters. Your LOL attitude now could cause you to say WTF later, when it’s too late. I would hate to see that happen to you. It’s never too late to change your mind. The Lord will meet you where you are, any time…anywhere. Remember that…from a hospice nurse in Ohio.

      • Jo Richmond


      • DEZn00ts_1

        I don’t know why I laughed at this 7 months ago… Must have not been speaking with GOD for whatever human reason. You are right.

    • David Conard

      Hi Lisa, I just came across your post as I was searching the web for a different bible quote. anyway, don’t know if you will ever see this or not, but even if you read it first hand from the bible, that doesn’t mean it is actually the word of God. I don’t know if you ever saw banned from the Bible on the history channel, but it tells how things have been added and things have been taken out over the years, usually to advance political purposes, thus we have the King James Bible. take care and I hope your are doing better now my friend.

      • Al Ly Cat

        I don’t know if that was helping, actually. I believe God over the History Channel ;0) People being all fallible and such.

        • JLH

          Applause, applause, Al Ly Cat!

      • JLH

        Not helpful. Your intended clarification further helps to solidify the popular teaching that the Bible is untrustworthy. That’s the work of God’s enemy, and it seems to be working for many – but not for me.

      • Linda77777

        Hi, David…actually, I never take anything the secular stations have to say about the Bible seriously. About three years ago, even the military channel, which I love, had a mini series on the Bible…but they completely misrepresented the Bible…the events were so thoroughly misrepresented…and this was the military channel…a channel I trust! And I”ve learned a long time ago NEVER to trust the History channel to give any form of accurate representation of the Word of God. Seems secular society presents the Bible and the things of God from an agnostic point of view….not at all from a Christian or Biblically accurate view. Guard your heart, my friend…be wise as a fox, discerning the source of your information…There are so many false teachers these days. Take care, David! 🙂

    • Al Ly Cat

      Proof-texting or those “bumper sticker” answers are awful. I have been chronically ill all of my adult life – longer now than when I was physically healthy (yikes, just realized that) and I heard that gunk too. GOD knows your pain, He knows your heart, and He can take it if we need to be mad at Him.
      I really recommend Brennan Manning’s books – all of them but maybe start with “Ragamuffin Gospel”. He had this amazing gift of being able to tell us about how enormous God’s love is. Anyone who has ever felt crushed under the weight of “legalism” should read Brennan.
      I hope you are feeling much better and hanging around people who don’t…. you know, act like Job’s friends!! <3 When talking to someone who is hurting, why oh why would anyone tack on "Oh yeah and you're being a bad Christian"?? That is just sadistic and SO not of our loving God.

      • steve

        I agree with you about Brennan Manning. Many of his talks are on youtube. His core message seemed to be: God loves you as you are (right now) and not as you are supposed to be. He also introduced me to a quote that “God made man in his image….and we returned the compliment”. Meaning that man has defiled the notion of God into a little, uncaring, legalistic person – full of retribution.

      • satovey

        Anyone who has ever felt crushed under the weight of “legalism” should read Brennan.

        I don’t see the problem due to legalism so much as I do people
        just simply not willing to accept the truth of scripture.
        In some ways, we do need to be legalistic. Take this message
        for instance; it points out the false doctrine that states
        “God will never give you more than you can bear.”

        If state in a blog that posts that statement as though it were true; that it is a lie, which it is; you will have a flood of response and ridicule because you told the truth.

        At that point, you have a choice, you can take a legalistic position and for truth, or you can back down because you fear be legalistic.

        The problem with legalism is that in most cases, it is supporting
        false doctrine rather than true doctrine.

        I have often encountered the lie: “we are not under the law.” The reason I say that is a lie is because people use it to justify disobeying the commandments of Jesus. For whatever reason, there are a plethora of people that think that when Paul made that statement he was referring to every commandment of the Old and New Testament. Oddly enough, those people even use it to disregard the commandment that Paul gave after that statement which is: “love one another for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”

        Rom:13:8: Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
        9: For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
        10: Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

        Paul’s intended message of not being under the law was not so that we might sin, but that we have the liberty to be obedient to the commandments.

        Rom:6:14: For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
        15: What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

        Gal:5:18: But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

        The leading of the Spirit causes us to walk in God’s statutes, to keep God’s judgments and do them, not to be disobedient.

        Ezek:36:27: And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

        So legalism has it’s place. We just have to be sure we are being legalistic about truth and sound doctrine rather than false doctrines and lies.

        • Char Fox

          Paul also said that if we do sin we have an advocate. Jesus said we’re to bear fruit and more fruit and we know that God looks at the heart. So we should be following God’s commandments but we slip, because no one is without sin. But we should be of the mind of Christ, wanting to serve God and others, to be pleasing to God. If we don’t want that and freedom means we’re saved no matter what, then that isn’t repentance and not acceptable.

          Jesus said we are not under the law. Part of the law said, among others:

          Every person shall write a scroll of the Torah for himself.

          Place tzitzit on the corners of clothing.

          Bind tefillin on the head and arm.

          Affix the mezuzah to the doorposts and gates of your house.

          Not to lay down a stone for worship.

          Not to travel on Shabbat outside the limits of one’s place of residence.

          Not to slaughter an animal and its young on the same day.

          To sound the Ram’s horn in the Sabbatical year.

          That houses sold within a walled city may be redeemed within a year.

          Never to settle in the land of Egypt.

          There’s 613 of them. Even the Jewish leaders didn’t follow them all, but expected everyone else to.

          They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

          Jesus freed us from all of this nonsense and told us to love God and one another. To do so means we will fulfill the commandments.

          • satovey

            Jesus never uttered the words: “not under the law”.
            Those are Paul’s words and they are by many,
            completely misunderstood.

            Many of the 613 laws are specific to the nation of Israel and gentiles have no need to obey them.

            Paul, while speaking of not being under the law, admonished us to fulfill the law by obeying the law of love, “love thy neighbor as thyself”.

            Rom:6:14: For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
            15: What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

            Later Paul tells us:

            Rom:13:7: Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
            8: Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
            9: For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
            10: Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
            11: And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.
            12: The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
            13: Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
            14: But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

            Gal:5:14: For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

            Gal:5:18: But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.

            I think the confusion comes from Paul’s use of “walking in the Spirit” and “fulfill the law”. While they can sound as though we need not give any consideration to the law, the fact is, these are only terms that refer to keeping the law.

            Ezekiel tells us of the Church:

            Ezek:36:27: And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.

            Thus, being in the Spirit and walking in the Spirit is walking in God’s statutes, keeping His judgments and doing them. This is nothing more than obedience, however, not obedience according to the flesh which is weak. It is obedience by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit who causes us to walk in God’s statutes, keep His judgments and do them.

            However, according to those who declare: “we are not under the law” declare it so at any point when their failure to keep the law is brought up.

            True, we are under grace, and God forgives us when we mess up. However, being under grace as Paul made note, does not permit us to engage in willful sin. Quite the contrary, being under grace gives us a greater responsibility to obey the law and thereby fulfill it. Considering that the fulfillment of the law is based on the law of love which is to say: “love thy neighbor as thyself” and having the Holy Spirit in us, obedience to the law becomes paramount. Not that we should obtain eternal life by it, but because, in obtaining eternal life through the passion of Christ, we also obtain citizenship to the kingdom of heaven, and as good citizens, we ought to strive with our utmost, to obey the laws of the kingdom which are found in the the following three commandments:

            Deut:11:1: Therefore thou shalt love the LORD thy God, and keep his charge, and his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments, alway.

            Lev:19:18: Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

            Jn:13:34: A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

            And if this is to hard to receive, remember that Jesus also said:

            Jn:14:15: If ye love me, keep my commandments.

            Jn:14:21: He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest

            myself to him.

            Jn:14:23: Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
            24: He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me.

            Thus, God attributes our keeping of His statutes directly to the level of our love for Him. The more we love Him, the more we will strive to keep His commandments.

            Take care.

          • Char Fox

            RE: “love thy neighbour as thyself”. I’ve thought what of those who don’t love their self very much? What would you say to them? Some say it’s pride. Even someone who thinks of killing their self, could it be pride in some way? Some people face horrific abuse as children and grow up to carry the scars with them. Sometimes they even want to be cruel to others because they don’t want friends or they’re afraid someone else will hurt them again. They’re gonna need a lot of internal healing with scars that deep. But those scars often come out in avoiding others or hurting others as they were taught.

          • satovey

            RE: “love thy neighbour as thyself”. I’ve thought what of
            those who
            don’t love their self very much? What would
            you say to them?

            Jesus addressed the issue regarding those who
            do not love themselves very much with the following
            new commandment.

            Jn:13:34: A new commandment I give unto you, That
            ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also
            love one another.
            35: By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples,
            if ye have love one to another.

            When we think of loving one another as Christ loved
            us, a lot of the superficial nonsense that is typically
            defended with the phrase: “we are not under the law”
            becomes completely unacceptable.

            While so many rationalize there wrong treatment
            of others with the excuse that you can’t count on
            them because they are human, God does not
            consider that an acceptable excuse for our
            failing to love Him by keeping His commandments.

            Jesus Himself tells us that our love for Him is reflected
            in our obedience to His commandments.

            Jn:14:15: If ye love me, keep my commandments.

            Jn:14:23: Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

            Jn:14:24: He that loveth me not keepeth not my
            sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine,
            but the Father’s which sent me.

            Jn:15:10: If ye keep my commandments, ye shall
            abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s
            commandments, and abide in his love.

            As a result, God’s desire for us to treat each other
            with love and to bear one another’s burdens, can
            not be made null. Quite the contrary, in the event
            that a person claiming to be a Christian refuses
            to repent and obey the law of love, must of a
            necessity be deemed not saved as the purpose of
            the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is to cause us to
            walk in His statutes, keep His judgments and do

            Ezek:36:27: And I will put my spirit within you, and

            cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep

            my judgments, and do them.

    • DEZn00ts_1

      GOD never said any of those things in the bible though… GOD never spoke to a group of people either.

      • Char Fox

        No God never speaks to people who won’t listen.

        • DEZn00ts_1

          Where does it say that? Oh and you have the choice to listen? Or is it already there? All i know is, me GOD and Jesus have a better relationship then we did 7 months ago. I still don’t understand if you were referring to me though, me and GOD have always had a great relationship.

          • Char Fox

            After 8 months, I don’t recall if I was speaking to anyone in particular. But God cannot speak to anyone who doesn’t listen because if they aren’t listening, they won’t hear Him speaking.

      • Jo Richmond

        This teaching must have piqued your interest though or you wouldn’t have wasted time reading it, much less commenting on it…right. Surely you have better things to do if you don’t believe in our awesome God. All I can say is Jesus loves you. God loves you. The same God who breathed every single divine word into the Bible created the universe and everyone and everything in it, including the heart that involuntarily pumps blood through every artery, capillary and vein in your body which keeps you alive. God was Jesus in human form who came to this earth and inhabited it for 33 years. He was mocked, and ridiculed. He was arrested, mutilated beyond recognition and crucified for YOU. He suffered, died and was resurrected for YOU. He ascended into heaven for YOU. He loves YOU and is waiting for you to believe and accept that. God spoke to thousands through Jesus. He’s speaking to you right now through me. You have a choice in whether to accept or reject his offer. Just understand that it is written…one day, every knee will bow. You might want to consider doing that sooner rather than later. You know, just in case God is real.

      • southern girl

        But Jesus did speak to a group people. Matthew 14: 14-21

        • DEZn00ts_1

          Yea you’re right. I wish I know how accurate THAT verse was though…

    • Marilyn G Brady

      Lisa, This is a powerful testimony. I am glad you and I have now discovered the truth. Although I have not had quite the same experience as you I too reacted to these misguided words from Christians with a sense that something about them did not ring true to the God of scripture. God’s blessings on those who wrote and shared this sermon. I wish to thank them for their bravery and willingness to boldly proclaim the scriptures so that we might better know our God. May He continue to bless you with His peace and His joy.

    • Joel Smeby

      “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine…when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned.” (Isaiah 43) and “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me…” (Psalm 23) Blessed assurance in all our trials.

    • JLH

      Lisa, Your story sounds just like mine. So consider yourself hugged and comforted by someone who understands. I so agree with your struggle over that phrase. For years, as I endured unfair treatment from a man who had vowed to love me, others would quote that very thing to me. Yet it made me feel far worse. At times, I felt a resentment toward God try to work its way into full out rejection of Him. I had to fight it, even I thought what “HE” was doing to me was just plain cruel. At long last though, I finally I did the same thing you did. I looked to the Word myself, and then I discovered the truth, as God inspired it. I learned who God really is, all of Him, and not just the parts others had told me about.

      Turns out that God never said that, regarding hardship. He said we are not TEMPTED beyond what we can bear. Now, THAT makes sense to me, because it is I who can choose to give in, or not, to temptation. It is not I who controls what comes TO me, and I discovered from the Word that God is not sending bad things my way. Those come only from God’s enemy, satan (not capitalized on purpose).

      Today, as a retired adult education instructor, I voluntarily write and publish a small newsletter for my little community. This upcoming edition includes an article I wrote that deals with commonly quoted cliches. I have included about 8 others, explaining the true origins of our misquotes, many that may surprise my readers.

      The only way we can be sure of the truth is to ask God to teach us what is true via His own Word. I encourage all who read the Word to read ALL of it, asking God to teach us exactly what He has hidden in plain sight for us, if only we will search it out. (I speak from experience, and the benefit that came from what I have learned at the feet of my Lord.)

      I discourage you not to jump around all over the place, picking this and that scripture to fit the “need”, at the time. Topical searches, which is quite a popular Bible study method nowadays, is how, in my opinion, we end up misquoting the Word – because we have only partial truth. The passages surrounding a certain scripture can give the full picture, and assure us of accurate understanding.

      God says we must accept all of His Word, and not just part of it – the parts we LIKE. The risk of misquotes and off-the-mark belief systems and hokey doctrines is probably why He instructs us this way. Partial truth can be even more damaging than an outright lie, because it sounds so close to truth that most won’t pick up on the lie of it, at all.

    • Robert Marcotte

      I too suffered a near fatal spinal accident, and surgeries to turn this spine into metal from the entire Lumbars to T-10. Surgery was dehabilitating, physically, and mentally for a good 8 years. 2 years after my own incident/problem (or opportunity?), Only 2 years later, My only brother 15 years my younger, suffered a debilitating spinal injury requiring 3 surgeries in 2 years, which led to his passing at 37 years and one week. He left behind a Wife, and 2 kids aged 5 and 8. 3 years after his death so young, and raised by Me due to our parents divorcing early in his life, He was not only a Sacred Brother but also my Son it still feels like, best friend too.

      A great book as well, “The Grief Recovery Handbook”, helped me in more ways than any other book. None of the traditional methods of “expert” help worked, rather exacerbated this loss, and every issue along the way. As both myself and Brother used to say, “no one can even begin to wonder let alone know what pain is from a Spinal Surgery, or Injury, unless they too have undergone the same. The only other time I’ve heard this in the exact words, were in the book noted.

      It was then, I realized what the excellent work of/by Rev. Mark Schaefer meant first hand. I cannot even begin to say, how important this work is, to be brought to the forefront by Rev. Mark. This IS the work we are meant to bring forward, with our physical issues, to those who continue on in life, thinking the Gospel Mythos is real. What is real is well laid out here, and thanks for such. The amount of people I’ve met who do not understand this, is immense. Very few I’ve met in my 60 years, have no clue what all this means, and herein layeth the work, done eloquently and directly to the issue and point. Thank You for your input, even tho’ its been 3 years since your input. I doubt you will get this response. Either way, its out there for all….!

    • Bharat

      Though, I do not not quite appreciate the statement myself, but people need words to say. Not all people understand how to behave socially so they learn to mimic and reuse common sentences.

  • Krista

    I always heard it as God will not give you more than you can handle with His help. As in we won’t be able to deal with it unless we have Him and His help. And I think this is true

    • Vivian Oberon

      And how do you get this magic help? Ask sincerely for him to come in to your heart? Ask Him to forgive all your sins and really mean it? Say you that love (sincerely) Jesus Christ and believe in him? Read the bible and fellowship make new Christian friends? Do your absolute best to help others and follow the golden rule? I’ve done all that and got nothing but more suffering. I’m talking serious physical, unbearable pain and suffering, every day. I’ve got what happened to Job, for decades and no end in sight. And I’ve struggled on, talking to Christ, praying. trying to have faith. So, with respect, what did I do wrong? I now have more than I can bear and have for several months, though I’ve been ill and in pain for many, many years. There is no help anywhere. I want to die and that’s it. Maybe God’ll help with that so I don’t have to do it myself.

      • Carmen Elaine Lindsley

        There seems to be one thing that is missing. Your focus is on the pain. You need to immerse yourself in God’s Love and the love of your Christian friends. Focus on the love, and you will start to heal. Another thing to do is to put it into perspective. Your pain is just a part of all of the pain that is being experienced by all of the people and animals in the world. Try helping other needy people in pain and watch your heart fill up with love for them, as you become the instrument to remove their pain. You can volunteer at an orphanage or with the special olympics, help out at a soup kitchen or a nursing home… or help animals at a sanctuary or humane society. This is coming from me, a person who had severe asthma (very painful) for a large chunk of my life, plus lots of things causing emotional pain (severe bullying). I love you and so does God! 🙂

        • Byron Mustard

          Obviously you have never really suffered severe pain.

        • Char Fox

          Carmen, I hate to say it but your comments do more harm than good. I know you intend them to help. But like Vivian, I too have spent years suffering in more ways than one. I’m very ill now and drowning in medical bills while a single parent of a special needs child so I still have to maintain full time employment. I sit in pain through work every day. The last thing I’d tell someone who just said they’re in severe pain is go volunteer in a soup kitchen. Something I’d love to do is physically help or monetarily help but can do neither. Due to comments very much like yous I was guilted into trying so that I made myself sicker. I tithed before I’d pay rent. If the church were truly following scripture they would bear one another’s burdens and help the poor but when I turned to the church I’d faithfully dumped thousands into each year to help pay my $475 rent they couldn’t come up with $475.

          I was about the most negative person you could know when I came to Christ, or more accurately, He came to me (another story). Wouldn’t you be if you were repeatedly molested as a child, blamed and criticized from age 8 into adulthood for your parents divorce, had a relative try raping you at 18, spent half your childhood in hospitals just to have open heart surgery at 11? I could continue but this cellphone is small.

          In the past 4 years, through a court battle, illness, being homeless, dealing with an extremely dysfunctional family, a child who is very hard to care for with no help, dealing with depression, having someone lie to me and cost me dearly for their own selfish gain….

          I’m actually more positive than ever.

          Vivian all I can say if you’re still reading and having these issues is there is NOTHING wrong with you. Religion has taken us down a false path of believing the opposite of scripture. God says in this world we will have trouble. I repeatedly asked what’s wrong with me till I realized the true question is what’s wrong with religion. I won’t follow man’s teaching anymore, seeking answers from a sympathetic ear. I will follow scripture. If God is slow to provide revelation I can only do that which I know to be right and know that He knows my heart.

          I tried reminding myself of starving kids in Africa with no shoes and a smile happy to be alive. That still didn’t help me to be happy. What they live through is all they know…and what I live through is what I know. We each have our cross to bear.

          Do I still think God does miracles and will lift us up in due time? More now than ever. I’ve seen His help too many times. It didn’t take me out if suffering but it got me through it. He’s apparently gotten you through or you couldn’t have been here to post that. What some if us go through with God’s help would send most to drugs to dull the pain or to end it all. I’ve spoken that way before but many things kept me from that finality.

          Hang in there. Whether this life or the next, and whether you can always believe or expect it God truly does have a good plan for you. I know people who waited 10 years and more to see dreams fulfilled. Remember that Moses spent 40 years leading sheep in the desert to prepare him to lead an entire nation out of bondage.

          Maybe none of this can help. Just know that people care and many can sympathize with what you’re going through. Most people who tell you you can’t get angry at god, can’t question Him and need to smile are people who don’t know REAL trouble. Oh they say all of us deal with stuff but let them elk one month in your shoes and see if they still have joy. Even Job thought God was unfair and Christ Himself asked why God had forsaken Him. The God of all truth wants truth. Not robotic masses with fake smiles who would never understand or are secretly miserable inside but don’t want anyone to know. Most backsliders backslide right in their pew on Sunday morning because of an inner conflict they wouldn’t share.

          • Todd

            I felt inspired by your post. I would really like to ask you for some advice, if you’d agree to that.
            Thank You

          • Char Fox

            Todd I apologize but I didn’t realize I had comments to check here. Feel free to ask anything you like. You could message me through FB if you don’t want it public.

          • Al Ly Cat

            I wish I knew you, Char, that was …. well, a lot was familiar and some was not, but I love what you wrote. I’m so glad to hear that you got out from under (for lack of better word) the legalism trap and found Jesus for real.
            I was told the exact same thing – “The last thing I’d tell someone who just said they’re in severe pain is go volunteer in a soup kitchen”!!! Along with “pray harder” (to which i have said “What does that mean, physically harder, like kneel on some rocks, or mentally, like pray all the words backwards? :))These are indeed not really practical.

            I am sure that Carmen and many, many others like her have their hearts in the right…. ish place, they want to help, but are missing GRACE. And there are some things in life – like advising an il person to do something physically demanding – that we should be really careful about when we are on the Internet, typing at someone we don’t know.

            But anyway, I loved what you wrote. Keep seeking His face and being an encouragement, we need more of it!! :0)

          • Char Fox

            Thanks Al Ly. I guess we all have gifts. Some are more empathetic, some encouraging, etc. I know the things that have been such a struggle for me serve a purpose. Not only has it helped change my heart and bad attitudes, but it’s also a benefit to help others.

          • JLH

            Al Ly Cat, I chuckled at your second paragraph. (Your words: “I was told the exact same thing – “The last thing I’d tell someone who just said they’re in severe pain is go volunteer in a soup kitchen”!!! Along with “pray harder” (to which i have said “What does that mean, physically harder, like kneel on some rocks, or mentally, like pray all the words backwards? :)) These are indeed not really practical.”)

            My words: I have thought similarly, when so-called heartless, loveless “Christians” have said such things to me. I used to say, “Tell me where the magic button in my brain is, that will make me all of a sudden have faith in God, or trust Him, or whatever blahblahblah.” I couldn’t find it on my own, nor did it magically appear because I listened to someone berate my lack of ability to be “good enough”. I was struggling through many things, yet the last place I found GRACE was in churches. See, I had been a church girl all my life, but I still did not “get” God, and Christians were heartless at times, just like the people of the world are, often. I didn’t know how to show grace to the hurting, either. Now I do.

            I learned empathy for others, by going through extremely hard things myself. I thank God for those lessons in how to love others. No human taught me. Only God. He only brings good to us. But His enemy is the culprit, roaming the earth, seeking whom he can devour. Only God can set us free from the enemy, and only God knows how to do so. It’s to Him I had to run, in desperation, when I reached the end of MY rope.

          • Char Fox

            There are many such Christians today who have no empathy for others. My Pastor is not ashamed to admit he’s not a very empathetic person and says please don’t be offended if you feel he doesn’t care about you. But he tries to empathize and pray about it.

            I was the same way, and still need more empathy, but I do now empathize with people instead of just not wanting to be bothered by them.

            But many don’t care if they lack empathy. And Scripture gives us some insight into this.

            1 John 4:20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar;

            James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

            Matthew 7:5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

            Matthew 6:1 “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.

            Matthew 7:2 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged,

            Matthew 15:7-9 You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;

            Romans 2:3 Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?

            1 John 2:9 Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.

            Luke 12:2 Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.

            2 Timothy 3:5 Having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

            Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

            Matthew 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven

            Churches are full of hypocrites, but one day we’ll all stand before God to be judged. We need to be very concerned about our own hearts than others. But if we don’t feel their heart is in the right place, we should avoid them for the sake of our own walk with God.

            God is looking at our hearts. We make mistakes or misinterpret some parts of Scripture. But God looks at our motives for it.

            Something I’ll always remember is what I was told by a friend at church. I was new to Christ and going through some really hard times. I was such a negative person. There are times I still feel I’m drifting back to negativity when I’m hurting. But I’m more positive than negative now. WAY more. God has turned it around over time and continues to work on that.

            So I was talking with this friend and was hurt and speaking out from that hurt talking negatively. And he said that if you don’t have faith that God will do a thing that “He can’t help you.” I left church crying even more and now believing I was doomed to my troubles because I couldn’t be positive and God won’t help me to be.

            After I got home, with that conversation playing in my head, the record player screeched to a halt at “He can’t help you.” Knowing God CAN do anything, I realized his statement wasn’t true. I think he was just speaking out of what he’s always been taught though and I enjoy talking with him still. I never told him about his use of the word “can’t”. 😉

          • Vivian Oberon

            Thanks Char. I appreciate your post very much. Volunteer in a soup kitchen? Hah! I’m bedridden and have been for 5 years. I can’t even take pain meds now because I’ve developed an allergy to them. I have no friends because friends don’t want to be with people who can’t do anything fun. I don’t believe that God is involved in our daily lives. It’s just impossible for me to believe it. God is definitely a Deistic one, at least for me.

            You are absolutely right about religion being on the wrong path. And I’ve had my fill of platitudes for 10 lifetimes. Most people, no matter how well intentioned, just have no idea about severe, long term suffering with no end in sight.

          • Char Fox

            Some of the older members of our congregation I consider friends and yet we do disagree on certain matters. One had once told me if I spoke negative that God “couldn’t” help me. I had been under the impression that God could do anything. I can’t count the number of times I heard “surrender” and “die to self” and I’m thinking can I get a translation to English? None of it was helpful nor burden bearing. When I’m in constant pain trying to raise a special needs child on my own and financially strapped hearing “you gotta speak the truth. Say you feel great, you’re prosperous, you have Godly children”. That may be true for them. My truth was I was still in pain and dealing with struggles. My left arm is hurting as I type this …fibromyalgia. I would read the Scriptures they quote and then I’d read the others around it and it didn’t fit. I figure if it works for them then great but it doesn’t work for me. I have to follow my path with Go . And I’ve seen His help and miracles. Maybe He doesn’t heal me but He has turned around situations in my job, finances, housing. I just keep praying for healing but if it doesn’t come today, I may be sad, I won’t understand, yet I will still praise Him.

            Psalm 43:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

          • coccogem

            I’m glad to read this post and you said something very important towards the end. you said ” I wont understand, yet I will still praise Him”. and that says a lot right there. that’s what most people don’t get because they don’t realize they cant understand some of the things God does. For one He’s not flesh and blood. And what you basically said was you’re going through all of these bad things but you would praise Him regardless of the storm. and most importantly you may not understand why you’re going through but you know that God knows what He’s doing and in the end you shall reap joy. I respect you for that because majority of the post that are up here are agreeing that God will put more on you than you can bare and that the troubles that they have are too much for them and talking about How bad they feel and like o, when is this pain going to end. but im glad we have someone on here whose not just concentrating on how they think there life should be or go. but on what God has for you. I think people keep forgetting that when Jesus died that their life doesn’t belong to them anymore and if you truly give yourself to Him. you wouldn’t worry so much about wha’ts going on at the present time. But what shall be.. getting alittle long..but I just want to say thankyou.

          • Trollio

            I laugh when people talk about what God can and cannot do because of our actions. We have less power to stop God than has a single ant to extinguish the Sun. To believe otherwise is pure arrogance.

          • Sim

            Deu. 14. Tells us to eat our tithe and enjoy it. That is something tithing churches done teach.

          • zonoz

            Wah waah wah. Me, me, me. You think you have it so bad. I can find a hundred others that have it ten times worse than you and still have a better outlook on life than most people with no problems at all.

            My daughter had a brain tumor at age 5. After a 11 hour surgery that she wasn’t expected to survive she came out with a multitude of problems like most people with any kind of brain surgery do. Her thyroid, hypothalamus, adrenal system, and several other systems in her brain were either damaged or destroyed by the tumor. A few months later the tumor started growing back (they couldn’t get it all during the surgery, it was grown around her optical nerve and other sensitive spots). She went through 5 weeks of 5 day a week radiation therapy which reduced the tumor but caused other damage.

            During the next year she had about 20 more surgeries. She has two shunts, grand mal seizures, balance issues, one leg stopped growing and she had to have surgery to add cadaver bone to lengthen it, a year later those wounds opened up again and 4 years and 2 more surgeries (31 total) later still won’t heal and stay healed. Her brain tells her she is starving, her body is in starvation mode and turns everything to fat, she lives on 1200 calories a day and still struggles to maintain at 280 lbs. She was in a study shortly after her initial surgery for the hunger problem but the study was discontinued after 6 months. We asked why and were told that she was the only survivor, all the other kids had eaten themselves to death. Average weight gain is 20 lbs a month. She is developmentally disabled and operates at about an 8 year old level most times but cannot be left alone with food or money or she will buy food. We keep all food in our home under lock and key. Nobody will watch her after the 1st time because of the food issue and it’s just too hard because she is desperate for food. She gets an $8500 injection each month for it’s side effect as an appetite suppressant which helps a little for about 3 weeks. My wife has a traumatic brain injury, is bi-polar, psysho-effective disorder, agoraphobic, has panic attics, and half a dozen other diagnoses. I’ve suffered from extreme depression they tell me since I was a child. Our cabinets look like a pharmacy. My wife and daughter get medicaid which is nice but the income and asset restrictions that go along with that have kept us living in poverty for years because if I work anything I make I would just have to pay back in so it’s a no win situation, we can’t get ahead. We even have to cash out our life insurance policies every couple of years because it takes us above the asset level of $3000.00 for a couple plus $25.00 per child. That’s for everything except your 1st car. Household goods, clothing, cash, everything!

            BUT, after 13 years our girl is still alive and finishing high school. She is an angel and a special spirit that we have been blessed to have been chosen to take care of.

            I won’t even bother to tell you of the trials that my other daughter, my wife, or I have gone through in those 13 years or what we faced before. But let’s just say this, they were no picnic either. And we consider ourselves blessed when we think of some of the families we have met during our stays at the hospital. Families that have lost their children, often more than one, lost their homes, careers (as my wife and I did), financial security, their own health because of the strain, even their marriages.

            There is ALWAYS somebody that’s got it worse than you! Always. And the sooner you stop feeling sorry for yourself the sooner your Maker will start helping you.

            If this hurts your feelings. GOOD! It hurts mine when I see someone that can still work complain about it. That still has arms and legs that work whines about not being able to do whatever. When someone tells ME to walk a mile in THEIR shoes. Everybody is tested to their limits. That is the truth. God only wants the best in his Heaven. He doesn’t want whiners or weaklings that won’t stand on their own and do what it takes to get along. I see people with no arms driving cars, cooking meals, living independently. I see one armed baseball players, wrestlers with NO arms or legs. YOU need to stop with the crying and get on with the climbing out of the rut you’re in. Once you start, in earnest, God will help. But if you just lie their like a sack of moldy potatoes, he will ignore you.

          • Char Fox

            Zonoz, I’m not sure if this is to me. You replied to my post but the reply makes no sense with regards to my post.

            Aside from that. You said: God only wants the best in his Heaven. He doesn’t want whiners or weaklings that won’t stand on their own and do what it takes to get along.

            According to scripture, that is wrong in more ways than one. Scripture repeatedly says God is close to the brokenhearted, when we ARE WEAK then He is strong, He collects all our tears in a bottle.

            Scripture says to encourage one another and build one another up, not tear another down. Scripture says to let no unwholesome talk come out of our mouth but only that which is helpful for building up other .

            Scripture shows us Gideon being encouraged by God as he thought very little of himself and had resigned himself to accept all was doomed.

            If someone dealing with a struggle and depressed read what you wrote, do you think it would make them feel better or worse? If one were weakened to the point of contemplating suicide and this pushed them further towards that, do you think when you stand before God that He will say that it’s all their fault they were too weak and killed them self. That they should have picked themselves up no matter what Zonoz said to them? Or will He also judge you based on your own works? We will all one day be judged and I’d rather know I helped someone than tore them down.

            That said, your other response speaks of laughter being good medicine. And that’s true. But we also cry out to God. If we just keep a stiff upper lip, the hurt is still buried inside. And sometimes it can come out directed towards others.

            God didn’t make any of us from cookie cutters. Some people may have a lighter burden but it’s their burden. God maybe gave you more because He knows you’re capabilities.

            My cousin Lucille passed away earlier this year. I’ve often wondered how she managed what she did. Lu was blind. Yet she obtained a bachelor’s in social work, developed and ran programs for disabled people, visited all 7 continents. She always had a smile. Yet she also battled illness after illness, which finally took her home in March at just 55.

            Her sister Charlotte is once again battling cancer, is in a wheelchair and will not likely be with us next year. And yet she still pulled our family reunion together with a smile.

            I don’t understand how some keep such a good outlook during such trials and some don’t. I have my own theory that it may be related to upbringing. If you’re raised by loving and encouraging parents, you grow to believe you can do great things. Or you can be torn down and grow to believe you’re no good for nothing. Beliefs formed in childhood don’t just go away but can turn around with God’s help. I’ve seen it happen in my own life. He’s still working on me, always will be til I go to meet Him.

            Sorry but this got long. All I’m trying to say is I’m sorry you’ve gone through all that but let’s try and remember that taking our experiences and trying to apply them to another doesn’t work.

          • Marilyn G Brady

            Your post is filled with judgement and bitterness not Love. God is Love. I am sad for you. Why is it you need to compete with someone for the prize of “we have it worse than you”? Your experiences should yield compassion not all this competitive bitterness. So sad for you. May our God of Love heal your wounded and bleeding heart.

          • Dixie Burge

            We aren’t here to compete in a contest to see who can come up with the worst suffering story. We are here to lift each other up, but that’s obviously not your reason for being here. You say God wants only the best in His heaven and not whiners who won’t help themselves or stand on their own 2 feet, yet the Bible states that God is the “help of the helpless” who understands our sufferings. Your statement is not borne out in scripture, so I don’t know where you came up with it. Unless you are so proud of your toughness that you feel that God will pat you on the back because of it, hold you up as some kind of an example and berate others who didn’t prove to be as “tough” as you.

            You honestly need to pray for humility and empathy with the sufferings of others, and not to tear them down with insults because you perceive them as not being as “tough” as you are, and put aside your pride in your “toughness”, which will NOT fly with God; pride isn’t something God looks upon with favor.

          • Char Fox

            Something I haven’t seen pointed out yet, though it may be and I just missed it…

            1 Corinthians 1:27 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;


          • Char Fox

            There’s another point to this to consider as well.

            Zonoz admits to suffering from depression. He mentions all this heartache and trouble they’ve had. But tells Vivian that the sooner she starts being positive the sooner God will help her.

            So either Zonoz wasn’t always positive or being positive didn’t cause God to jump in and help them any faster.

            If it took time for him to become more positive, then he missed the lesson God was trying to teach. God doesn’t turn someone around just so they can forget how He changed them. He turns them around so they can be an encouragement and a testimony to others of what He can do in their life.

          • Marilyn G Brady

            Char Fox, Passionately, lovingly and truthfully spoken. You have fulfilled scripture as you have patiently allowed yourself to lift another up from your own painful experience. Instead of embracing bitterness or stiffening your spine with pride you have humbly reached out a helping hand. You have identified falsehood and pride in another and also fulfilled scripture by lovingly correcting the brethren when they are in error. God, I am sure, loves your so dearly! You are a positive force for the Gospel of Jesus of Nazareth, Our Redeemer.

        • Al Ly Cat

          Sometimes we don’t need to try and “fix” people. The best first thing anyone can do for me, and especially in the first years of an illness that took me from my last year of under-grad (studying to be a Youth Minister, i was 22) to spending almost all of the next TWENTY YEARS in bed and in huge amounts of pain, knowing my friends were marrying and having kids and i was feeling quite useless… anyway, I needed someone to just sit and be sad with me. That is all. Just sit with me.

          Why do we always throw “answers” at people? My hope is just to know God so well that some of His love hopefully spills out of me onto people who are hurting. Help is not always a massive heroic looking thing – it is the quiet. The late at night. Just love people – it is no human’s job to “fix” someone else, and I think God wants us to actively just love.

        • Jennifer Bailey

          I have given my list of disabilities to those that need them- the ones involved in every aspect of a person’s life. I am Autistic. The day before my 36th birthday my church group didn’t find out much about the youth center, didn’t know that the woman with 2 canes would not be able to participate in any way and that she would be in a place that was too loud, where there were too many people moving, for her brain to handle. Someone had to physically move me out of there. I had never told them my diagnosis. Yes, when I was, on that night, beyond what I could bear there was a person with experience with ASD there, and the minister present was able to manage it calmly. But do you know how many times in the last 35 years before I was diagnosed I was not helped? The next morning I got up, I brought my mother her pills, I brought her her food, pulled her into a sitting position- she can grip my hand as I do that, nothing more. I answered the repetitive questions of a woman with dementia. She can’t tell if I am sick or well, and I have collapsed while coughing without her noticing, and my 20-lb dog was the only reason I got up more than once, and I have no one to call. We have nearly lost her 3 times, a stroke, a seizure, an emergency pacemaker. The scheduling it took for me to be in that youth center with my church group was astounding, my being well enough that night was as well. So much of my life is about someone else. And was helping her during each of the 10 documented illnesses I had last winter, and during my current illness. I have asthma. And am never not in pain. And can’t walk. And never was asked to study with a classmate or get a cup of coffee after class or on a date. Or to anything after church. My birthday was never in the announcements, because no one called in- it was like radio dedications. Until last year, soon after my birthday, there was no phone number in my cell that wasn’t a (physically) distant relative or a business. No one to call. In high school and college I was absolutely ignored, and after the 2nd year of college was ill to where half-time classes and homework were all I had strength for. I have a list of reasons that I cannot work and why Dad retired a year earlier than he had planned, at least, for us. I watched my grandfather lose the ability to even sit up or roll over in bed, saw it happen to Mom. Know that they can do nothing to save me from it.If you pay attention at the soup kitchen, the nursing home, or the Special Olympics you will find that my story isn’t unique.

      • Mamamia

        Vivian, Just wondering how you are feeling healthwise. Praying that you are feeling better by now.

        • Vivian Oberon

          Thank you very much Mamamia. Unfortunately nothing has changed, but bless you for asking.

      • Todd

        i really would like to know how you are doing Vivian. For real. I have faced difficulties these past 13+ years with my health too and God knows there were, and sometimes are, days that i feel i can’t take it anymore.
        God Bless. May God give us patience and courage to endure.

      • coccogem

        Hey. Just a little help here. I’ve been in a place where you are and that’s where faith comes in. IF you believe in God’s word He will not put more on you than you can bare. Yes, you think you can’t bare it but God’s word says you can IF you believe it. The Bible also says to much is given MUCH is required. So these test and trials , things that you’re going through is to make you stronger. God can remove that stuff with one word but there’s no seeking Him in that. Now it’s our Job as Christians to encourage one another to Endure to the end. The race is not given to the swift nor the battle to the strong but to him who endures to the end. So you may be asking God why are you giving me all of this Im weak. I can’t handle this but God says keep your eyes on me , it won’t be like this always. I think the Guy who said God will put more on you than you can bare has already spoken defeat on his life. And wants others to let their guard down and give up. Just a spirit of deception. So I Encourage you brother to don’t give up this race. GOD BLESS!

        • Vivian Oberon

          With respect, if you’re talking to me,your post is not helpful at all. Trying to tell me that my problems exist because my faith isn’t strong enough is a way of shaming someone who already has more than enough on their plate. You have no idea about my faith.

          • coccogem

            Ok. Sorry my post wasn’t very helpful to you and you’re right about me not knowing about your faith only you really know I just know what I read. And my post was really only here to encourage you more than anything With some of the word of God. And I don’t know about you but hearing someone say I want to die and that maybe God can help with that doesn’t really say you believe that He will bring you through. So my bad if I read your post wrong and tried to encourage a fellow Christian that says it wasnt very helpful. usually when Christians are going through they just don’t talk about how bad they have it but they also talk about how they know God will bring them through that trouble won’t last always. But anyway. I truly hope that you get better and God Bless.

          • JLH

            Still not helping, guest.

        • JLH

          You are, like so many who think they know the Word but know it only partially, misquoting it. The actual passage refers to handling temptation to sin. The passage does NOT refer to hardships. We can choose to find the way out of temptation. Hardships, oftentimes, we cannot choose to resist.

          God would not be worth serving if he just put the screws to us and watched us squirm, as your reply seems to suggest. It’s like, “Squeeze ’em till they cry ‘uncle’, and then maybe squeeze ’em some more, and see how much they can take.” Uh, hate to show you how much you don’t know, but that’s satan’s kind of behavior – not God’s.

          I’ve wanted to smack people when they shove that in my face, so count yourself lucky I don’t know you. Vivian, consider guest post owner smacked on your behalf (chuckling).

          I Corinthians 10:13 says this: “No TEMPTATION has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be TEMPTED beyond what you can bear.” Does that sound like a reference to hardship? Not to me.

          • Char Fox

            JLH, I think it could be a reference to hardship, at least in that God allows it, but temptation is the temptation to sin. We may face financial hardship, and the temptation there is to steal. But because we face it doesn’t make us steal. It doesn’t stop us from crying out for God’s help, but we don’t steal. But when you said satan causes hardship, this verse, along with another, agrees with that. It says God will not “let you” be tempted. We’re also told in James 1:13 “Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.” And Job upholds this. God did not tempt him. He removed Job’s protection, but satan did the tempting. God does test us to help us grow but not tempt us to sin.

            I was also laughing at something you said in another comment about not capitalizing satan. I don’t either. I know it’s capitalized because it’s a name but we capitalize God both because of the name and out of respect. And I won’t give satan that respect and I want to refer to him as lower than anyone else… Sort of like demoting him. LOL

            Since I spoke to Vivian about my pain, I have had to leave work and apply for disability. It’s a huge financial strain and scarey but I had no other option. My very stressful job was contributing to the pain and it was getting worse even without that. Like the soup kitchen comment, I’ve wanted to get out and visit an elderly friend and a sick friend but have mostly spoken with them on Facebook. I go out for a doctor appointment and by the time I get home, I’m hurting, often to the point of tears. I limp home and wear out my heating pad. I left a cardio appt yesterday. Sitting in hard chairs and on an unforgiving exam table left me taking a handful of ibuprofen and considering buying a cane. Since the doctor wrote the order for my handicapped placard as unable to walk more than 5 ft without rest, that’s the distance to my car, so I don’t look forward to going out unless I have to.

            But we can still be used by God. We don’t have to work in a soup kitchen. I can’t do the things I used to at church but I try to supply the tissues and buy out the shelves when they’re on sale. I say since I used most of them, the least I can do is replenish them. LOL

            I also attend a Bible study and have shared testimony and knowledge of what I’ve learned from Scripture to encourage and help others.

            I know one woman who has no arms and her methods of typing was full of errors because of the difficulty typing. But she has faithfully ran a prayer board on a Christian website for years. She has been ill now with cancer and hospitalized and many prayers go up for healing and she is missed by so many who’ve benefitted from her encouragement and prayers for years.

      • Malia

        Vivian I read some things on your site and I believe that you’re very much into satanic areas. Yes that is exactly what you need to do…you need to seriously ask the Lord for forgiveness and ask him into your heart. You need the Holy Spirit within you. If you feel like you want to die, this horrible thing that you’re feeling is coming from demonic forces that you’re still playing with. And they will continue to attack you until they take your life and if they can do that they will. This is what they do, they destroy people. You’re into vampires and God only knows what else. Turn your back on these things…ask God to forgive you…get your heart right with him and let him help you get your life straight. He’s a God of love and Mercy. He does not want to see you destroyed in this way.

        • Char Fox

          I gotta agree with this. I used to love vampire movies. I LOVED Twilight and couldn’t wait to see the rest of the movies after reading the entire story and seeing the first movie come out. But then I got saved. And though I wanted to see the others, it was too demonic that I had to choose what was more important. A lot of movies I used to love are movies that bother me now and so I skip over them. I was an avid House fan but his senicism and the cussing turns me off. Not much in the way of TV shows are watchable for me now. I think if I were still watching them I’d still be depressed and miserable because I’d have two natures at war with one another.

      • Rukaiyah Abdullah

        Vivian, I know it has been two years since your post but I hope your health has improved. God’s promises us healing in His word however only He knows when that healing will take place. I pray that God heals you from all sickness in your body. I pray that he comforts you throughout the process and that He blesses you with His peace that surpasses all understanding as you wait on Him because with His peace you can endure all things. In Jesus Name amen. There is a purpose for your pain even if you don’t understand it. God wants us to give thanks in all circumstances. I hope you receive this with love and remember that this too shall pass.

      • zonoz

        But the fact is, YOU ARE STILL HERE, aren’t you? You haven’t shriveled up and disappeared, you are still fighting, one step at a time even if only figuratively. My wife and I have individually and as parents faced many burdens that people tell us that they don’t know how we do it. And we see others much worse off than we are and think the very same thing of them although we never say that.

        In fact, for a time in our life, our whole family, my wife and I and our two daughters felt like we were living under this black cloud. We decided to just start saying that it could be worse, and guess what? It got worse! So we changed our motto to it’s getting better all the time. Whether it was or not. And eventually it did. Whether it was through something that we did or not, we don’t know.

        We believe that trials come to us as a way to teach us. This is demonstrated in the Bible many times. And the trials often seem to continue until we learn whatever lesson it is that we need to know. There have been times when one of our family has said, “I don’t know what lesson we are supposed to be learning but I wish ONE of you would figure it out and tell the rest of us”.

        We have found that laughter is the best method of dealing with whatever ails us. Often to the dismay of those around us. But when someone has been through as much as we have, they understand. And when they haven’t, they don’t.

        Some of us are here on Earth to be examples to others. To teach others various lessons just as we read in parables in the Bible.

        Heavenly Father, God, whatever you call him, will not burden you with more than you can bear. Witness all the people still able to write about their burdens right here on this page. He will always help you if you ask with a sincere heart and a contrite spirit. We must come to him as little children with honesty in our hearts to ask for forgiveness and His help. And the help we receive may well not be the kind of help we expect. So just because the pain doesn’t stop, or the burden doesn’t magically disappear, don’t think he isn’t there. Sometimes we can see the help he gives us and sometimes we can’t. Remember the story of The Footprints in the Sand.

      • Dixie Burge

        You haven’t done anything wrong, dear Vivian! You need to read this article again and take in everything it is telling us. Nowhere in God’s Word does it tell us we will not suffer. Indeed, God did not even spare His own Son from an absolutely horrifying and incredibly painful death. Look at the sufferings of the Apostles: Prison, torture, crucifixion, beheading, stoning, etc. The only one who died a natural death was John. But God DID tell us he will not allow us to be TEMPTED beyond what we can bear. In the midst of our sufferings, “it is well with my soul”. Not necessarily our bodies, but our souls will be preserved from the evil one. No one will be able to pluck us from God’s hands. He promised He will keep our SOULS from perishing. Jesus taught us to not worry about the body, which will die and return to the dust it came from, but to concentrate on our souls, which will live on after death. The place it dwells for eternity is all up to us.

        By the way, this isn’t coming from someone who has never suffered loss or bodily pain. I lost my dad when he was only 47 to heart disease, my mother to cancer when she was 68; my brother has suffered a stroke and I live with him now and help to take care of him; I myself suffer from chronic back pain and marked scoliosis which eventually forced me to retire at the age of 61, and which cannot be helped by surgery without compromising my ability to walk. It’s just something I have to live with. But I know in my heart that my soul will go to be with the Lord; then ALL pain and sorrows will be wiped away by the loving Savior who also saved my parents for himself and I will see them on that glorious day. So, to any Christian who is suffering in body or spirit, all pain and suffering will one day vanish when we go to live with Him in Glory.

    • JLH

      Not true. The quote comes not from the Bible. That actual scripture is in reference to resisting the temptation to do evil, and not to trials and hardships that we did not bring on ourselves.

  • While you may think this off topic, it really isn’t. G-d says He allows tempters to come into society as a test. Note:

    Deut. 13: 1-4 All this word which I command you, that shall ye observe to do; thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it. If there arise in the midst of thee a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams–and he give thee a sign or a wonder, and the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spoke unto thee–saying: ‘Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them’; thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or unto that dreamer of dreams; for HaShem your G-d putteth you to proof, to know whether ye do love HaShem your G-d with all your heart and with all your soul.

    G-d does test us so He can “…to know whether you love…your G-d…”

    Otherwise, great article!

  • Thank you for a lucid expose of these false teachings. I once spent a horrific night trying to convince a friend not to kill herself. She thought she had committed an unforgivable sin by feeling despair that she would ever be delivered from a terrible mental illness. These plausible heresies can kill. On the flip side, the true message of these scriptures brings infinite hope, because they put God back in control!

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  • Justin

    This is something that has really been bothering me that I have been trying to explain to a lot of people, this is how I have felt for sometime with the misunderstanding and telling people that there are some things that I honestly don’t know if God is going to fix. I have felt like I have been hit with more than I can handle at times. I have lost hope, yet I still believe so much. You have proven a point that has been weighing down on my heart for some time, it’s like you just explained what I have been trying to tell people and you hit it straight in the bulls eye.

    • I would like to express apiaicprteon to this writer for bailing me out of this particular situation. Right after surfing around throughout the online world and obtaining proposals that were not pleasant, I was thinking my life was gone. Living devoid of the answers to the problems you have sorted out by way of this article is a critical case, as well as ones which may have adversely damaged my entire career if I hadn’t encountered the website. Your main talents and kindness in touching all the things was invaluable. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I had not discovered such a point like this. I can also at this time look forward to my future. Thank you very much for your reliable and results-oriented guide. I will not think twice to recommend your web blog to any person who should receive recommendations on this matter.

  • Joe

    I think it is funny in all your examples they still managed to get through. Including the part with the angel. He was given the strength that he needed.

    • Brittany Lee

      Except Jesus… he didn’t make it through until he was resurrected. We won’t all be resurrected and there will be things in this life that will be more than our human bodies can bear.

  • Nathan Young

    Maybe you could bare it, but decided within yourself that you couldn’t and gave up on God before He could help you?

    1 Corinthians 10:13
    There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

    If it’s in the bible, it’s not lies, for God does not lie!

    I like how you use Movie Cliches to put your point across on a biblical matter……

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  • airguardwife

    If this was true, there would not be millions of people taking drugs to escape their live and reality, and the grief that everyday life spits on people daily. People reach to fine the “true” meaning of scripture and have soooooo much faith that no matter what happens, no matter what they go through, no matter how much pain they feel, they just go into denial and stuff the fact that it’s more than they can bear in fear that if they don’t they will go to hell because they didn’t “act” in the way that God says Christians should believe…..Scripture is really starting to tire me

    • Byron Mustard


    • Char Fox

      Elijah laid down and asked God to just let him die. Instead, God sent an angel to feed him and minister to him. Elijah thought he had too much to bear as well. Sometimes we stop leaning on God and give in to all we have to bear. I know far too well what it is to have more than you can bear. The last 4 years of my life have been fraught with so much massive stress and demands on my life, that I type this with my arm in a splint as I am having muscle, neck and nerve issues stemming from stress. Many times I heard that voice to just give up. But I have not given into it because I know what it was like before, what I was like. There was a reason I turned to Christ. I will not lie. There were days I have stared at the drop off on the side of the highway thinking…just turn the wheel. Yet knowing the judgment that awaits and the fate of a son left behind, I kept plugging onward. I also reminded myself that with my luck, I’d probably end up in a wheelchair for life but survive. 😉 And survive I have. Still going through a lot of stress in life in many areas of my life, I am growing stronger. The old adage, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger is true. And God strengthens us for what is to come. Sometimes it is done through our trials.

      Do you think perhaps Jesus had more than He could bear 40 days and nights in the desert without food? And the devil came along to tempt Him. Yet He did not give into the temptation. Thankfully He did not give into it. Because there are times that we might. And He is now our advocate for sin when we do happen to fail and give in. We just need to be remorseful about it and truly desire forgiveness and to turn from it.

      • Jesus would have had to be bear grills to survive in the wilderness (not desert) The only evidence Jesus had any survival skill is that he may have been a nomad for quite sometime in the left out history of Jesus in the bible. To offer food to starving person is more compassion than temptation. Temptation (the desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise) Jesus being a man son of God a human being would have died in the wilderness without any intervention or proper techniques of survival.. if you offered a person in harsh environment food and water does this make you a do’er of the devil or would you consider it an act or kindness and compassion. In the bible itself the devil had did less bad things than God himself never have I heard the devil kill millions of people in a mass flood and or make the end result. I understand me testing your faith making you angry as God and the Devil according the bible are testing you every day and to be tested of your test. Generally the answer for most people is God works in mysterious ways but I understand now if there is a God who could create such a wonderful world this God is not spoken of in the bible at all.

    • I agree pain and suffering is what leads to learning and wisdom and their is not one person who reads the bible and agree’s on the same thing becuase the bible is very badly written original had no chapter or verse’s and the language of the old testament (ancient aramaic) to this day has not been fully interpreted. Almost every church, pastor and believer of God never agree with each other and to say you have read the book and you understand it what it means is not possible given the fact that our language and understanding to the world is very different to language and understanding of the ancient world … I say if your bumper sticker belief is more positive than the bible you may as well throw out the negative book and keep the bumper sticker. Wisdom is the only truth not belief in people that even consider the fact that no matter how smart you are you cannot under any circumstance say you understand an ancient language or even put yourself into the context of a book that was poorly written and speaks badly of a God that supposable could create every that is good and then dismiss every that is bad to a devil that was created by God himself.

      • Char Fox

        No one can understand the Bible unless their eyes have been opened. That takes opening the heart to God and letting Him guide you.

        But even if it were completely understood, people, infallible humans, would still have varying interpretations. One is because all come from different backgrounds and another because people will always find disagreement. We have a need to be right.

  • Mamamia

    If it were true that God doesn’t put on us more than we can bear, why would we need Him? If we could bear anything and everything we would continue being our prideful selves, continuing to live in our own power…not relying on God.

    Dr. David O. Dykes has written a book entitled “That’s Not In the Bible” that covers the subject of false statements that people claim are in the Bible.

    I actually Googled this subject because someone quoted this false statement today in regard to their husband’s serious health issues. I responded by quoting Dr. Jim Denison’s faith statement= God redeems what He allows. We may not experience the redemption here on earth, it may come once we’re face to face with Him.

    • Byron Mustard

      There is one little word that is a key in your statement…and that is MAY. The truth is we do not know when or if it will occur.

      • Char Fox

        That is the difference in those who have faith and those who do not.

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  • Amber

    This message is something that needs to be heard and emphasized all over. This message has meat, and will sustain me. I won’t forget what I read this day. And I thank the holy spirit for leading me here to this site.

  • Byron Mustard

    Hey I have often heard it stated in church services that Jesus has endured every pain, suffering that mankind has gone through. Ok so when was Christ married and more importantly WHEN DID HE GO THROUGH THE REJECTION OF DIVORCE, SINCE THERE IS NO WHERE IN THE BIBLE THAT HE DID?

    • Mamamia

      The Bible doesn’t mention grapefruit either but I’ve eaten one.

      • Byron Mustard

        Ya but did you love and put your trust in a Grapefruit?

        • Mamamia

          Byron, take my advice (I realize it’s probably not wanted) and let go of your bitterness or you will never attract another woman, if you want one. Forgive and forget, so that you can find someone that truly loves you. Stop focusing on your needs and your loss; get out in the world and focus on someone else and their needs. In the end, you will be blessed and a blessing to someone.

        • Char Fox

          Jesus loved and put trust in a lot of grapefruits. Some that come to mind are Char, Byron, Mamamia, etc. And He’s been spit upon by all of them at some point or another. WE, the church, are the bride of Christ.

    • Well if you believe Jesus is divine and God, then he has. If you look throughout the Old Testament, God treated Israel as his bride and each time they rejected him and broke the covenant it was like divorcing themselves from God.

      Isaiah 54:5
      For your Maker is your husband,
      the Lord of hosts is his name;
      the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
      the God of the whole earth he is called.

    • Char Fox

      Byron I’ve been rejected by a fiance 2 weeks prior to the wedding and rejected by family most of my life. But I can honestly say I’ve never been severely beaten, forced to carry my own death instrument to the appointed killing site, had my head ripped open with thorns, endured the fee of spikes being driven through me all while carrying the weight of everyone’s sin when I didn’t have to and had never sinned.

      And you bring up He never dealt with divorce?

      It took me a long time going from my feelings I still had for my ex fiance to anger and bitterness that he did what he did plus stole my property. He has backslidden repeatedly. Like Joseph learned through years not to take vengeance upon his brothers, I too have learned. And it is why 3 years later he can return to church with the new wife and baby and sit behind me and I am OK. It’s why I am friendly with his wife. I’d be friendly with him too if he wasn’t so bitter himself. He’s angry at himself. He’s been stuck in a rut of coming to Christ then backsliding. And I didn’t. And it gnaws at him and his own hold onto guilt and anger keeps him from finding real love even in a 4th marriage.

  • Ramona

    Thank you.

  • Young Kauri

    Do you guys see God as an omniscient man in the sky or an intangible, sexless force that exists in everything from between the particles of an atom to the galaxies in the universe?

  • Kasimattie Chantel

    I think many of you are misinterpreting or reading too much into what is and/or should be understood. Although the exact quote “God does not put more on you
    than you can bear” is not in the Bible. The quote simply means that
    when your troubles are high, you lean more on Him; and He will see you
    through…therefore, giving you the strength to endure any challenge you may
    face!!! Although that particular quote is in the Bible, the following
    quotes are, and it means the same thing!!!

    Philippians 4:13 says,

    “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”


    Psalm 55:22 says:

    “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

    Come on people, don’t be so literal!! What God has for you, it is for
    you, and no one else. Please know that 2 people can read the same verse
    and get different meanings because God is speaking to them individually.
    But, if God is in you, then no, He will never put more on you than you can bear!!!

    The Bible also speaks to not allowing the Devil to get foothold over you. In the book of Ephesians 4:27-32, it says:

    27 Neither give place to the devil.

    28 Let him that stole steal no more: but
    rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good,
    that he may have to give to him that needeth.

    29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

    30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of

    31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

    32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

    So, if we are teaching people that it’s okay to be burdened with troubles and
    okay to wallow in self-doubt and self-pity…are we not giving in to the Devil? Be careful what you teach to people who are looking for that sign of it being okay to sustain in troubles!!! Well, I’m here to tell you that it is NOT okay to do so. I’m not saying that burdens do hurt…but, you grieve, pray to God, and move on…you ask Him for strength and guidance, and He will give you exactly what you need to get through what you are going through. If you were not able to get through it, then it would kill you…and since it did not, then this is proof that God will not put more on you than you can bear!!! So, again, God will NOT give you more than you can
    bear because if Christ is in you…then, you can conquer all things!!!

    Peace and Blessings!!!

    • Char Fox

      Kasimattie you have to remember that God doesn’t put most things upon us. All of Job’s afflictions were from satan. God simply removed His protective hedge. Elijah asked God to end his life. Jonah would have the crew throw him into the ocean to drown for fear of what God was asking him to do.

      People and satan also put things upon us. Christians have taken their own lives before. I believe the scripture on the sin that leads to death may be blasphemy but I tend to believe it was suicide. And why should we pray for brothers and sisters who commit suicide. Notice brothers and sisters. Not sinners.

      How many have prayed and prayed for God to help or comfort them yet didn’t receive help or comfort when they were at the bottom of the pit. I’m sure Joseph expected God to pull him from the pit that his brothers threw him in…not God. Instead he ends up a slave then a prisoner for many many years.

      Prayer is needed but it doesn’t always answer the immediate need. If churches truly bore one another’s burdens we’d be functioning as Christ intended.

      • Al Ly Cat

        I disagree about this, very much. The only sin that cannot be forgiven is the one that is logical, it is not accepting that Jesus’s redeeming work on the cross (this is hard to do briefly, i will try) means we can have a one on one relationship with the God who created and loves us… and asking Jesus to live in our hearts, be Lord of our lives, guide our steps.

        The Bible never says that suicide cannot be forgiven. I don’t like using “churchy” words but will to be quick – if you are truly saved, and for some reason – mental illness, depression…. and you (and it is a tragedy and suicide is not easy to talk about in a quick note) die, of course you go to be with God for eternity. I will never, ever advocate suicide. It is a horrible ting that affects so many people in the life f the one who made that choice. I watched my amazing Mom … wow, this is not something i share often so bear with me, I had to make the all that she needed to be on suicide watch. And she was and is one of the most faithful, loving, amazing Bible teacher people I know. I do not know why she was so Depressed, but she is getting help now and knows that is not an option. But there is no way in heaven or hell that God would say, had she died “Really good job up until that last but, sorry you are now off to Hell”

        It’s just not Biblical. I have studied this since i was 15 – I’m 45 now so i have put a LOT of prayer and time and listening and reading into this.

        I love Joseph, I just wrote about him recently. I love that we know because of his story that even when it feels like “WOW God has given up on me and my brothers are horrible jerks and seriously, Mrs Poitiphar? I so did not come on to you” – that He is always there, and can take what humans meant for evil and make a wonderful thing out of it. Joseph got to feed all these people. Awesome.

        • Char Fox

          You’re confusing the word forgiven with praying in the context I was using.

          If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, e shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it. 1 John 5:16

          Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. Matthew 12:31

          In Matthew, Jesus is speaking to the Pharisees who were against Him, and was referring to those who speak against Him, and said they will not be forgiven. In 1 John, he is speaking of a brother that sins unto death (not unto unforgiveness).

          I believe a passage can speak in more than one way at times. I see blasphemy as death and unforgiveness, but the sin unto death can also refer to suicide. And why should we pray for those who have already gone on? We cannot affect the outcome of what has already occurred. Aren’t we better off praying for those here who’s outcomes have not yet been finished?

          I cannot say whether or not suicide can be forgiven, but I do believe that since God looks upon the heart, He can understand the struggle a person faces and how it may cause them to lose hope. In the same sense, while we’re severely hurting and can see no other way to ease the pain, we get into a mode of thinking everyone is better off without me. In reality, suicide leaves behind a lot of pain. So while one cannot handle their own pain, they end up causing others pain trying to escape it.

      • Common understandings is that God allowed Satan to afflict and test Job’s faith, when you allow something to happen like that it goes hand in and hand and both parties are responsible for the testing’s of Job’s both hands of God or the Devil and God are not completely clean in several teachings of the bible.

    • Marco Delafuente

      Thank you, Chantel! The scripture doesn’t say, “I can do some things…” or “I can only do as much I feel…” It says, “I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me.” In other words, anything is possible through God who is with us always. And Char Fox, your examples of Job below were indeed inflicted by Satan, but only because God allowed it.

  • Char Fox

    Thank you for this post. I was actually searching on some information for an article I am doing on my site on tithing. This is another lie of the church. Many of these lies are passed on by their parents, by the grandparents, and on down the line. It is a legalistic teaching handed down throughout the church. Some of them can take many generations to work themselves out of a family.

    My own church is fond of believing that God won’t or can’t (and yes someone told me “can’t” once and I was under the impression God could do anything) bless you if you didn’t tithe. Yet the Bible also says we’re to take care of our families and to give what we have decided to give and give as we could afford. The tithe is a necessity for the church to operate, but it should be given as one can afford and out of the heart and never as a guilt offering.

    To lay the lie at it’s feet, God blessed me immensely on many occasions while I was unable to tithe. He knew what was in my heart.

    • Todd

      True, yet remember Luke 21,

      1 And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the Temple treasury.
      2 And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins.
      3 And He said, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them;
      4 for they all out of their surplus put into the offering; but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.”

      So, we must support the Church how we can, and those who tithe when they are poor, actually give more than those who tithe out of their surplus.
      And no it should never be a guilt offering.

      • Char Fox

        On my income, 10% was equal to my rent for a cheap falling apart cabin in the woods in order to afford higher daycare for my special needs son. I barely made it month to month but tithe that 10% faithfully because I was taught that was obedience to God and if you didn’t, it meant you didn’t trust God. To me it makes God out to be an ATM when we lead people to believe they can’t be blessed without tithing. So when I paid tithes before rent and didn’t have rent money and it needed paid, I asked the church for help. After three years of faithful tithing an amount equal to my rent, they could only help with half. This truly bothered me. And I had no choice but to pay rent instead of tithing after that. It didn’t mean I stopped giving, but no more 10%, $5-10 in the offering at 3 services a week, $20 to pastor appreciation day, $20 to pastors birthday…pastor lives in a nice home that would hold six of my homes if not more and drives two vehicles that each cost more than double mine. That may sound like I resent him. Truth is, when I couldn’t get the rent paid, I started to. And I truly felt I was never going to have any kind of life because I stopped paying tithes. But that’s when I started getting money coming in that kept my head above water. My son almost wouldn’t have Christmas this year if not for unexpected money coming in. I’ve seen blessings. And all throughout prayer I felt God knew I wasn’t able to give 10% but telling me one day I’ll do more than that. So, I pay what I can. The pastor has what he has and that wasn’t the issue. But when those without are told they can’t be blessed unless they fund the one with more, that causes one to stumble and is false teaching. It also creates a giving out of guilt mentality. God would rather we have a willingness to give without the ability to do so, than to give out of guilt. Because the latter gift is rejected by Him.

        2 Corinthians 8:12 For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.

        13 For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened:

        14 But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:

        • Todd

          Well surely i didn’t mean to judge or say you should tithe when you need this money to get by, but what i wanted to point out is that tithing is an acceptable and good practice in the Church and we should tithe when and if we are able to do so, each one according to his/her faith and wallet. Most certainly it is a very bad thing if one tells people that unless they tithe they can’t be blessed.

          • Char Fox

            Sorry Todd. I guess reading it now it sounded like I was harping at you. I just wanted to chime in with that for any who have faced this and been guilted. I know the way I was taught, your comments would’ve put me in turmoil. Just the last part on supporting the church…an area I felt bad about not being able to help. And the poor actually giving more. I’d just heard so many saying support the church and pay even when you don’t have it and trust God to meet your needs. So when I talk about this it’s a bit of a sore spot.

            I still want to tithe and way more than 10% but I also fear doing it just to be noticed as a tither…and I don’t want that to be the case. As far as those who told me to trust God to provide. ..He did. He provided my grocery money and He’s still providing. If I go hand it all out and don’t buy groceries, I’m not expecting Him to bail me out of my own stupidity time and again.

  • K Hancock

    Matthew 11:28–30 • “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”

    I think the key here is not not parse the scripture in an effort to disprove the message. The Word is very clear; trust in me and love me and you will be delivered.
    I cannot believe that boiling the Word down into what it “does not say”, will be a key in healing your ailments.
    Peace be with you all.

  • Ronaldo Tadeu Marcelo

    The Bible puts to us the way forward so that we do not destroy ourselves, body and spirit of the house and all divine providence, we are the 5 senses electricity life, in our senses processors, we instrument for the pursuit of balance between destructive and constructive, we are to grow and multiply and then leave the body and go home to new challenges better or worse, and life goes on without major news.

  • BrooklynSWAMI

    I’m a gnostic deist….please don’t waste ur time with the whole phony Bible thing. i was raised/ brainwashed in it and it took me awhile but i realize its a fairy tale

    • Char Fox

      Not to waste time with the “Bible thing”, but I will say, it can seem phoney when one isn’t truly repentant but just goes through the motions because it’s what they’re taught. When one becomes truly repentant about the sin they live in, when they truly desire Christ and His ways, they cannot believe it’s a fairy tale. Brainwashing doesn’t produce miracles. True worship does. And when you’ve seen the miracles of God first hand, you cannot be swayed in that belief.

      • BrooklynSWAMI

        you’re decieved…..no proof that Jesus ever existed

        • Char Fox

          Only to a non-believer Brooklyn. I have all the proof I need.

        • Char Fox

          Want to add one thing to ponder. If I’m wrong (which I’m not), what does it cost me? If you’re wrong? What does it cost someone to believe in Him besides a changed life for the better?

  • Alvin

    There should never be any condemnation but rather we are to speak with
    love and that means that we are to speak something that may fit their
    occasion/situation that it may impart grace unto the hearers-Ephesians 4:30;4:15. As far as God giving us more than what we can handle; I do believe that God is a just God and that if it is something that is trying then He will give us the grace to handle that situation. As far as “insensitive” Christians perhaps we are too sensitive and i know that some situations are excruciatingly difficult to deal with perhaps we need to drop expectations upon others and place them squarely on the Lord; even as David wrote in many of his psalms that “he was grieved and couldn’t find anyone to take comfort as his eyes and strength failed him”. Sometimes our expectations are too great on other people and the tendency to place higher expectations on Christians is even greater and that is really unfair and that is also a bit selfish for us to expect everyone to meet and cater our needs. I understand that people go through tough times but that doesn’t mean that everyone should just turn themselves inside-out for you that actually sounds like an entitlement attitude. Here is what i’m saying to keep things in proper perspective and that is to avoid both extremes of “oversentalmism” and being stoic and critical both extremes are wrong and equally dangerous pitfalls that must be evaded. Especially living in this modern days where there seems to be so much polarization every where from the political to the social to the body of Christ there is so much extremism where you are required to conform to being over sensitive often to the expense of the truth and the opposite extreme is to a requirement to conform to being overly-charasmatic where you are expected to never have a personal problem and be some type of lone ranger both extreme opposites are both equally wrong and poisoneous. To conclude it’s like the analogy of driving down a road where on both sides their are ditches and on the one side of the ditch is conforming to the water down Gospel that overly emphasizes being sentimental, sensitive and politically correct where it undermines sound doctrine and often to the exclusion of faith and the other side of the ditch is where we are totally insensitive and overly stress faith and doctrine to the exclusion of any compassion and or sympathy, both are erroneous and equally poisoneous.

    • Char Fox

      I disagree. Not everyone is spiritually where you are, I am, they are. Would you tell a person saved 2 months ago, not yet knowing scripture to turn to God for answers? What if their question is how will I know it’s God or how do I hear Him? Scripture is absolutely clear on this:

      1 Thessalonians 5:14..comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.

      Romans 15:1-2 actually sounds to me that the one who doesn’t patiently bear with those who are weak are the actual selfish ones:

      1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

      If we tell a newborn baby to get up and walk then go on our way, do you think that baby will thrive or die?

  • Betty Ann

    Thanks for “breaking it down” where I can truly understand and appreciate the Scripture. It bothers me when people misconstrue the Word for selfish means.

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  • David Harris

    Another so-called Bible quote is “The family that prays together, stays together.” In my first marriage we prayed together as a family regularly, however (due to abuse) we did not stay together. It’s not in the Bible that praying together wards off all evils like a talisman would. It just doesn’t work that way.

    • Char Fox

      The Bible says IF it is possible, “as far as it depends on you”, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 and Philippians 4:6-7 tells us Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

      It doesn’t say: And everyone else will have the peace of God.

      We can’t control others and God won’t control others. He’ll control circumstances and outcomes to reach His ultimate goal but He convicts those we pray for but the choice is still theirs. To take away freewill is to be unfaithful and goes against His very nature. A friend is going through a divorce now. After 25 years her husband claims he doesn’t love her and is set on divorce. We see God trying to convict him, from his 17 yo preacher son writing a poem expressing what divorce means, to the latest sermon topics, to dealings with church members, his own family even, but he chooses to reject it all. And she simply prays God convict him but if he goes through with it, she knows God will take care of her.

  • anon

    God never says you arent allowed to fail. people succumb to temptations all the time, but that doesnt mean you arent strong enough to resist. if you are being tempted, you are able to resist. if you try. nothing comes easy in life, so you are going to fail. for sure. and god never says you have to go through anything alone. he wants you to depend on him. he wants you to give your burdens to him and trust that he will take care of you. thats where faith comes in handy. i know in the last paragraph you say sort of the same thing. that he wants us to give our burdens to him. but you act like god is lying. he DOES say that he never gives us more then we can handle. its in the bible. which means its true. but the thing you fail to mention is that, as i said above, he never said we have to do it alone. if we rely on ourselves, then whats the point of a god? besides the obvious… you said it yourself. ” INSTEAD, WITH THE TEMPTATION, GOD WILL ALSO SUPPLY A WAY OUT SO THAT YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ENDURE IT.” god gives us the strength to triumph over temptation. making the statement, “god never gives you more then you can bear.” true. he’s the one allowing us to bear through the obstacles. it’s not a lie.

    (P.S. sorry about the caps, my eyes are bugging out and im not sure how to make the verses bold.)

    also, you may want to do some research before you make a whole ranting page about how the bibles lying. you’re taking some verses out of proportion.

    “My wrongdoings are stacked higher than my head; they are a weight that’s way too heavy for me.” (Psalms 38:4 CEB)

    means their sins are too much and they need a saviour or something. CEB” Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” (1 kings 10:7)

    means the journey made him weary so he had to regain his strength. by eating.

    (first kings 19:8) So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. (v9) There he went into a cave and spent the night. (he regained his strength and carried on, he overcame his obstacles…)

    all these example may have made sense if the people didnt overcome their obstacles. but they did, proving your statement to be false.

  • lynn

    God is not real get a clue reality i served this god all my life and all he did was fail me everything nooo i said serve your dam swlf selfish ass god

    • Char Fox

      God didn’t fail…can’t fail by His very nature. Infallible human beings however get ideas about all they think God should do for them and fail to see what He’s already done or even what His Word says. Like in this life you will have troubles, and do not be surprised at the firey trials.

      Of all Christians throughout the ages, the apostles were the beginning. Do you know what happened to them? Besides Judas, Peter and Andrew were crucified. James Alpheus was thrown down from the temple by the scribes and Pharisees; he was then stoned, and his brains dashed out with a club. Thomas is known to have been martyred possibly by lance. James the son of Zebedee was put to death by Herod Agrippa. Jude (Thaddeus) was martyred in the region he taught.

      That’s 6 out of 11 we know we’re killed for the Gospel. From scripture it’s clear they didn’t have a preconceived idea that it was God’s duty to save them here on earth.

      Most people who don’t want anything to do with God believe in evil spirits, but the moment things don’t go their way, God’s the one takes all the blame.

      I can be honest and say this cause I did the same for awhile until I began to understand God’s love for mankind and satan’s hatred of us. Even Jesus prayed that the disciples be kept safe from the evil one. But people have such a misconception that satan’s some dude in a red rubber suit with horns and a pitchfork. They’ve turned him into a joke and Jesus into a black sheep. In actuality, Jesus was the lamb white as snow and Lucifer was the most beautiful angel in heaven. But he let his heart get ugly. People cover over ugly by making a joke of it and refuse love because it’s not an ATM.

  • yensayson@gmail.com

    Yes in deed true, we are sometimes stuck in a situation that we cannot bear. Like Lisa, who had a spinal injury years ago; I had my biggest trial in the past. At this time I am still in a midst of a battefield – the world is full of fake people and traitors. In spite of this fact, I still have faith that God has a purpose in my life. This verse 1 Corinthians 10:13 “God won’t give us any more than we can bear” may or may not help Lisa and I to cope up. But then again the power of this verse will depend on how you will respond to it.
    Also remember that God was honest in what he said in John 16:33New Living Translation (NLT)
    33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
    God is not lying. There is no verse in the bible that will not speak life to you. You just need to have faith. I have the credibility to say this because I am no longer what I am used to be. Sad to say that there are a lot of trash in net. You need to read YOUR bible to know the truth. Before reading it, you must PRAY for WISDOM, so you can have better understanding of the message. Is anyone here needs prayer you can send me an email at yensayson@gmail.com

    • Micahks

      You know someone else mentioned Job. Another thing that can be learned is that even when advice is scriptural it may not be what the person needs to hear. All of Job’s friends said things that were scriptural but God said in the end they they did not speak well of Him as His servant Job did. Certain verses will speak to your heart at certain times. It really depends on what God is trying to tell you.

  • Al Ly Cat

    I have been sad about verses being twisted recently, esp the one about “God won’t give you more than you can handle”. All i can find about that is that God will never allow us to be *tempted* beyond which we can handle AND He will be right there, helping us! :0) Mis-interpreting things like that can just be so damaging!! God loves every bit of us. Period. 🙂

  • KingHippiedude

    A couple people have mentioned that though it may seem like more than you can bear/is more than you can bear on your own, God will provide you with relief. But suggestions that people simply pray harder or focus on God more are missing something important. There is also a message here that we, the church, the body of Christ on Earth, are called to be the hands and feet of Christ in helping bear the burdens of those who cannot bear them on their own. It does little good to say “ask God for help” when the we, as representatives of God on Earth, are unwilling to extend a hand.

    • Char Fox

      Exactly. And not only to bear one anothers’ burdens, but take the issue of tithing. How many have tithed faithfully to the church yet when they fell upon hard times, they found the church wasn’t eager to step in and help?

      Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 8:13-15 For I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality: As it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.

      You couldn’t tell it by today’s church or congregation. The inequality in the church is glaring and it’s as if people don’t truly trust God because they’re so afraid to part with their comfort so that others won’t lack. You can even see by where they sit, the haves and have nots. And that’s not even church leadership but the congregation as a whole. People seem to naturally segregate each other.

      And when you’re a have not, it’s extremely hard not to covet the comfort another has, not to have envy or jealousy, or even to allow any bitterness because they know you’re struggle and yet cannot bring themselves to help.

      I thank God for the few that actually listen to His voice. I had a church member approached me after service one day, and not knowing anything at all about my financial situation, he shook hands with me, leaving a $100 bill in my hand and walked away.

      For the ones that don’t seem to notice, or care, about the poverty that runs deep in their own congregation, I keep reminding myself that they made better choices in life and are reaping what they’ve sewn. Yet I can’t help but be reminded of those who made good choices and yet through no fault of their own ended up losing everything.

      It may be reasons such as this that God’s miracles aren’t seen in abundance in this day and age. He expects us to help our brothers and sisters, for us to be a family and each help bear one anothers’ burdens. If we’re not up to the task, why should He spread around His miracles to undeserving humans?

      Churches love their missions. Trips abroad to build churches and wells. All of it is good. But if you have neighbors who cannot put food on the table, they should be a first priority before the thousands spent on flying halfway around the world to build a church. Let them worship in a tent and use the church fund to put food in their bellies and shoes on their feet. They’d prefer a good meal, decent clothing, an education. We can preach the gospel with or without a dedicated building.

      I think we’re going to see God’s miracles more and more, as we see the body of Christ acting more and more like Christ. And I’m not touting my own horn by any means. God keeps working on my attitude with people. And that might be a very long and drawn out process. But I know I would love to help those less fortunate and I’ve tried to. But I’m pretty well below fortunate myself. Those that truly can help the less fortunate are those who typically won’t.

  • coccogem

    I’m so glad that when God allows Satan ( notice I said allows satan) to tempt me or hit me with things that seem unbearable that He always gives me a way of escape and that in the mist of my trials and tribulations, He will still be there. I believe that what we go through for a reason. From the smallest things to the biggest. The enemy can’t do anything without God’s permission so what ever He allows you to go through and how long, you have to trust that everything will be ok in the end if you don’t lose faith. hmm… Faith. what a powerful word. Even though we cant see the end, we still have the right to believe that this too shall pass. lol..love it!. God is faith. Blessed are those who have not seen and still believe!! (John 20:29). I don’t know about you but that tells me we may be suffering and cant see the end, but we will be blessed if we believe that there is a end. believing it is speaking it even if you don’t see it. I will be healed, I will pass this test, I will be what He has called me to be. so be encouraged that whatever the Lord has given to you to go through, Just know He knows you can handle it. God Bless

    • Micahks

      Hold Moses arms. This would be especially true in situations when you wonder how God could allow things. Why does He allow rape, murder and illness. Submitting to God means humbling yourself. Whether that is praying more or simply asking for others to pray for you. There was a believer I was interested in. I chose to be friends first when she died unexpectedly even though she was completely healthy. Did I ask God why. Oh yes. Was I mad? Yes. Did I think it was unfair? Yes. But I also asked people to pray for me.

  • Peter Red Wolf

    Malachi 3;8 10

    • Char Fox

      Ok, read it, but in context.

      Malachi 3 8 “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.
      “But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’“In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me.

      ******10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.******

      Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.

      In the context of all scripture on the issue, through Numbers and Deuteronomy, the tithe is food, and it is so that the Levites, the Priests, will be able to eat, ergo “that there may be food in my house”. God doesn’t need us to bring Him food, but His appointed Priests needed to eat and He provided for it through tithing. Many other verses show tithing to be something done at the end of the year, not continually throughout the year.

      So what does the N.T. teach us about tithing?

      Acts 5:1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession, 2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles’ feet. 3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

      4 ******Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power?4 ****** why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

      The emphasis made here was that they had “lied” to God. The money was theirs to do with as they pleased, but they had promised to give it and then lied about it.

      Hebrews 7:5 And
      verily they that are of the sons of Levi, who receive the office of the
      priesthood, have a commandment to take tithes of the people according
      to the law, that is, of their brethren, though they come out of the
      loins of Abraham:

      2 Corinthians 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so
      let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful

      2 Corinthians 8:14 But by an equality, that now at this
      time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance
      also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:

      It’s apparent that giving was not the modern day, give to the church so they can build a bigger building and pad our pews with the finest of cushions, but it was to give to those in need within the body of Christ, including those who taught and preached the Word. Paul was pretty well clear on this.

      I do not begrudge my pastor the home he lives in, the 2 story palace of about 10 rooms with a living room, sitting room, kitchen and dining room. But while I live in my small 852 sq. ft. home, God is not expecting me to pad his income more. I put in to help fund projects such as missions. I give to those who have a need when I am able to meet it. But I will do what I can to help those less fortunate than me and will no longer fund a big business industry. Tithing, OT AND NT, was never about that and it is as clear as night and day in scripture.

      So back to Malachi 3:10…Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.

      This is the most widely used scripture for the prosperity teachers. I have been told that God can’t bless you if you don’t pay tithes. Right after being told this, God gave me 4 very large bonuses over the course of a year and a half at a job I’d worked for over 10 years and never received even a small bonus. He gave me 2 raises in this time. He turned my office around from 5 people with myself as the only Christian (new convert then), to an office of 3…all Christian, in under 3 years. And just this month, He provided me with a home on which I had to pay NO money down and NO closing costs. These are just some of the highlights of the blessings I’ve received since I stopped paying my tithes.

      Being taught to tithe, from the moment I was saved until the day I stopped, I paid them faithfully for years. Thousands I poured into the church each year while living in a run down rental racking up medical bills for illness. Then I came to the point of choosing between tithes or rent. And of course tithes won out. Pay God first (even though I never saw any money going to God). God was going to provide a way for me. Well the rent didn’t show and it was due. I went to the church and asked if they could help with my rent and electric. They had a benevolence fund, but it was drained dry. So they offered me $250. My rent was $475. I had to borrow from a relative to pay the rest.

      The strict tithing rules setup by churches are actually in direct opposition to God’s Word. They are used for the personal gain of the church and it’s leaders and are not used for the needy, the orphans and widows, the single mother of a special needs child struggling to pay tithes every month while not being able to pay her rent and electric. There are elderly who can use rides to the doctor, shut-ins who could use fellowship and a good hot meal, needy throughout the community looking for help with anything. People living in leaking run down substandard housing. And there is the church subset driving their Mercedes, living in posh private neighborhoods, and taking their boat out for a sail on the weekends. But they make sure they pay their tithes. And of course they consider their wealth to be a blessing from God for faithfully paying. But what does scripture say? “And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye
      of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” Matthew 19:24

      Let’s stop making idols of the almighty dollar and use it to help those in need. Stop padding the wallets of those already rich.

  • Red

    Thanks for this. I love learning more about God’s word. We can over come anything with Gods love right? And I loved your sermon. My husband is in the end stages of Cirrhosis of the liver but were staying faithful in God as best we can. Im trying to find a church thats like what your talking about. Maybe you could pray that we find a good Bible based Christian Church? Thanks again for this.

  • Jake Steele

    Don’t matter to me, greater is he that is in me… I walk in the freedom Jesus gave me and promised in John 8:36!!!

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  • Marilyn G Brady

    “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31b-32 NKJV) This sermon is so beautifully written and so needed in the Christian community. I will be sure to read the other’s in this series. Have you or are you going to address the words so often spoken to children who dare to reveal the abuse and neglect they are experiencing at home? “You know your parents love you. All parents love their children.” When if the behavior of these parents was placed side by side with 1 Corinthians 13 it would be apparent that the child was actually truly unloved in a most appallingly obvious way.

  • Micahks

    Interesting discussion. I agree with most of your points. However, if you read 1 Corinthians 10:13 in Greek you’ll see that the word temptation also translates testing. Life is hard, and God doesn’t always make bad things happen, but He does allow it. As humans we can’t trust ourselves but only God for strength. God should be carrying our burdens, not us. I know, we can’t explain everything that happens, but God promises to be with us through them. I’ve lost friends as young as 26. They were all unexpected and I had no answers to my questions, and yes I questioned what I could handle and I still do. But in the end it is by God’s strength and not mine.

  • BigOl Nipplies

    While I agree with a lot what you’ve said here, and I whole heartedly agree that telling someone who is going through suffering that “God will never give them more than they can bear” is as insensitive as it comes, wouldn’t them then pressing on be a sure sign that God has not given them more than they can bear? If you’re still breathing, you’re still pressing on. Maybe not quickly, but nonetheless still moving forward in time. I have to admit that I was one of those people who thought this was from scripture and I am glad you have corrected me in that. I’m also thankful to report that I have never said this to someone in trial, nor would I ever in the future. But isn’t Jesus a bad example of your premise? Jesus was given the most imersaebale task in history and he defeated it. Jesus was, “given more than he could bear” but then went on to defeat sin and death and then reserected Himself from the dead. How is that bearing me than he could handle? While it’s clear that the saying isn’t based in scripture, I fail to see how we don’t live it out day to day by simply moving forward? The only thing stopping you from moving forward is death.

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  • kritikosman

    Make it plain.

  • Ren Viktor

    your having a hard time in the Scripture cuz ur being a heretic and hyporcitical the Bible is the Word of God and is all true. some of author of the bible will quote what they add on saying this is my opinion and not from God directtly ye Google it. so u will know God is Almighty dont tell me or any otherwise that he cant protect His own book the paper piece on which he put unto the world on which he hath created!

    by: ren march 23 2016

  • Samantha (aka acbdmom) Squires

    Wow I am grateful to have come across this message and it has given me renewed spirit and strength

  • Robby

    First off all this crap Rev. Mark Schaefer has wrote is the lie!!!

    People READ Revelations chapter 22 Verse #19 and YOU will see that Rev. Mark Schaefer is blaspheming AGAINST GOD! Being a “false prophet” you can even say!!!!

    He is leading you WRONG!!! Get a King James Bible is the “”ONLY REAL Bible”” that teaches RIGHT!!!

    This CEB is NOT a Bible its a “book” its NOT GOD’s word its “MAN’s words”!!!

    The King James Bible is the ONLY closest version to GODS word…So if you want the TRUTH, read Revelations Chapter 22 Verse #19 And you will see that “Rev. Mark Schaefer” has lead you WRONG!!

    Rev-22V #19 says “””(((And if any man shall TAKE AWAY or ADD TO the words of this prophecy, GOD shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the Holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.)))”””

    So in other words as you can CLEARLY see, the CEB is NOT GODS word!!!
    Because words HAS BEEN TAKEN OUT, and new words HAS BEEN ADDED to it…

    And with Rev. Mark Schaefer posting words from the CEB “book” he is the one “spreading lies” and as the REAL BIBLE says his name will be taken OUT of the book of life……………………………………………………………………………….

    • Char Fox

      There is dispute as to whether the KJV has translation errors or not. But I’m only going to address what you quoted.

      “And if any man shall TAKE AWAY or ADD TO the words of this prophecy, GOD shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the Holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.”

      Let’s take a look at the Greek manuscripts:

      Matthew 18:10-12
      hora? m?
      See that you do not

      kataphrone? heis ho houtos
      despise one of these

      mikros gar leg? hymeis
      little ones. For I tell you

      that their angels in
      hoti ho autos angelos en

      heaven always see the
      ouranos dia pas blep? ho

      face of my Father who
      pros?pon ho eg? pat?r ho

      is in heaven. What do you
      en ouranos tis hymeis

      think? If a man
      doke? ean tis anthr?pos

      has a hundred sheep…
      ginomai hekaton probaton…

      This is Greek manuscript that has been translated into English. Even ignoring whether or not some words are mistranslated, let’s look at the KJV…

      Matthew 18:10-12
      10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
      11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.
      12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?

      Now try as I might, I am unable to squeeze an additional 13 words out of the Greek manuscript to account for the additional 13 words in verse 11. Now, does that additional verse change the content of Scripture in total? In this passage no. But this is not the only passage with additional text. So whether or not it changes the Scriptures, it has clearly been ADDED to it. And this was done by the highly defended KJV.

      No translation is exact and cannot be. There is no one who was there and spoke the original language. The best is a comparison of various versions and context of the complete Word.

      Aside from all this, you have adamantly stated that Reverend Schaefer is wrong. Wrong about what? This is a long article and you keep referring to Revelation 20:19 to prove he’s lying. But it does no such thing. It only states God’s command to not change His Word. But you have not mentioned what lie he’s told or what word he’s changed.

      He starts by addressing “God won’t give you more than you can bear”. And he’s right. Even the KJV bears this out as it states exactly what he said it does… that God won’t allow you to be TEMPTED beyond your means to endure it.

      Before attacking someone and declaring them a false prophet, why not explain exactly what is false in what he’s said? Anyone can jump up, point a finger and yell LIAR! But the one who can point out that which they say is the lie and provide evidence on what makes it a lie in a clear, concise and calm manner is the one using wisdom, and the one who will point more people to the truth instead of driving them away and causing even one of God’s little ones to stumble.

  • Michiel

    oops doubled…

  • Michiel

    Hi, thanks for this post. I was googling something about this text because a friend of mine thinks he might be at the point of having to divorce his wife. I second all that you wrote above, but it becomes a bit more difficult when the burden is something we can choose to step away from…Many burdens we cannot choose to walk away from. But a (really) bad marriage, simply, can be left.
    So, how can I help my friend determine whether the line has been reached at which it would be ‘allowed’ to say: “enough is enough, I cannot bear any more and I cannot give it more to God.” I know physical violence would be a valid line (in my eyes). So would emotional manipulation – if bad enough… But this case is different: it is total apathy on his wife’s part. In about everything. And it is draining my friend: 4 kids, full time job, full time household chores; and full time rectifying all the stuff his wife messes up in the practical things in life. And now she’s starting to influence the kids to show similar behavior.

    How can I help my friend determine whether he has reached this point or not? – apart from just standing next to him and praying with him.?

  • Beverly Stoll Porter

    Good article about the misquoting of I Cor. 10:13. But may I tell you something about the crucifix that just this week I believe the Lord revealed to me? I am not a Catholic however I do love Catholic believers but believe the RCC is not Christian. The sight of a crucifix, (Jesus hanging on the cross) has always bothered me and I wasn’t sure why except that we Christians want to dwell on His resurrection victory now. But here’s what I realized a few days ago. The few hours of the Crucifixion was a time of great humiliation to our Lord. Hanging naked on that cross, having even His father turn away from Him. To keep Him there on the cross is to keep him humiliated. When we love someone, we can’t wait til they are “covered” and their nakedness is out of the sight of onlookers. His resurrection and victory over death is where our focus should be, not on His humiliation. We must not put Him to open shame every day. Hebrews 6:6

    • RJ1844

      Beverly, you are very much right on track in all you say. Jesus will not be the lamb sacrifice forever. He is also the Redeemer, the Great High Priest, the King of Kings- the lion, and the Creator. You are the second person I’ve heard say that the sight of the cross bothers them. Keep studying your Bible. Look at every reference to the role of the priest, the king, the lion, the lamb, the redeemer, and the creator. Study the sanctuary sacrificial service in the old testament, what Jesus said about himself and the old testament scriptures in the new testament, and study, Hebrews, James, Paul’s epistles, and the book of Revelation. Best regards.

    • Char Fox

      I do actually keep the cross in mind. It is not for Christ’s humiliation but for understanding the depth of His love.

      John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

      He laid it down so that He could be resurrected so that we could have eternal life. Not only that He laid it down, but that He willingly suffered a tremendous deal of pain up to and when He went to the cross. Suffered it willingly and quietly. Even the massive pain of taking all our sin upon Himself.

      When we think of what He willingly endured because we weren’t able to be sin free on our own, we will want more and more to serve Him. We will truly be sorry for our sin. And we can rejoice in knowing that God loves us more than we can ever imagine and we can forever be in His presence…all because of the cross. All because of one man’s obedience.

      Romans 5:19 For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

      • Beverly Stoll Porter

        Yes, the cross, but not Jesus still hanging on it. He is not there any more. He is alive and risen and reigning on high. I serve and love a living God, not a dead one. the empty cross reminds me of His victory over death. Hallelujah!

  • Char Fox

    I was just reminded this week of another often stated Christian saying that is nearly the same.

    In regards to special needs or difficult children to raise, that can wear you out and fray the nerves to say the least. LOL. And unfortunately there are some parents who give these children up because they don’t want to be”saddled” with it.

    I’ve heard many times that God wouldn’t have given you this child if He didn’t think you could handle it. Whenever just frustrated over a difficult day, this is a remark that gets made. Some actually believe that God picks out our parents personally. But no! God does not put babes in the hands of abusive parents because He feels they can handle the child.

    God moved situations to affect the lineage of Christ. Nothing else suggests that He chooses everyone’s lineage. He specifically says to not commit adultery but many children are born into adulteress situations.

    I think such statements though are made out of ignorance and from people who just don’t know how to comfort others. So they believe this will help by having you think it’s God’s will so that you can accept it better.

    The truth is, if one is considering giving their life to Christ and they are told this, it can be the very thing that causes them to turn away from Him. It can invoke anger in thinking God is cruel because He does this.

    All of us should be more careful in what we say.

    Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

    Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

  • Clayton Adam Smith

    Soul damning teachings. For you to twist the message of the Lord into teachings of common men.

  • Clayton Adam Smith

    Jeremiah 17: 10I, the LORD, search the heart,
    I test the mind,
    Even to give every man according to his ways,
    According to the fruit of his doings.

  • Clayton Adam Smith

    According to what each will bare He knows if we have given up on Him or not. 2Thess 2: 10and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved.
    11And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie,
    12that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

  • xaade

    On the other hand, you have.
    “I can endure all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”

    It’s obvious we weren’t meant to bear everything alone, however faith is clearly rewarded in the Bible, even from sinners.

    It’s a small token, but I’ve noticed that no matter how dark it gets, time passes and I somehow come out on the other side. Through things I could have killed myself over, no less.

    At some point, my stubborn brain is just going to have faith when the next bad thing comes.

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  • Natalie

    It’s not that people say “He doesn’t give you more than you can bear”, it’s that people hear “God is going to make it all better.”
    Like every single human on earth I have had many trials. The fact that I am still alive shows that I have not been given more than I can bear. The same goes for everyone else.
    Between well meaning Christians and people who only listen to what they want to hear, this verse has been skewed.
    God truly loves us all and he doesn’t give us more than we can handle. He has given us a heart to see what true love and salvation is. But He never promised an easy road to eternity.
    Blessings one and all

  • Alisha

    THERE IS NO GOD, the only truth is suffering.
    I have seen people pray zealously to God and today my aunt is at a terminal stage all alone.
    The one truth she suffered and struggled all her life and life / God made her jump through impossible hoops again and again.
    I don’t trust or belive in Him anymore.

    • Char Fox

      John 12:25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

      But your grandmother l held on through her struggles. Life is a struggle but it’s what we do with our life that matters. If you pit an eternity of joy, peace and no suffering against the perhaps 70-90 years we have on earth, then the temporary struggles we have here won’t mean so much.

      I’m sure her zealous prayers included your salvation. For you to say there is no God would perhaps hurt her more than any suffering she’s gone through. I know cause I’m in that boat. I’ve far from had it easy, yet I’d rather live eternally and pray my kids and all my friends and relatives will be there with me.

      There is certainly a God, who can be proven. But He doesn’t work in the manner we expect from Him. We mistakenly think life will be a breeze if we say a few prayers and read the Bible. But if we do read the Bible, we will learn that God never promises and easy life.

      Truth is, God created us in His image. But just like satan, we failed to walk in that image and walk righteously. We sin continually with hateful thoughts toward others, unforgiveness, putting ourselves first, pride, etc. Satan was cast from heaven for it, we were cast from Eden. But this is why we serve God…He had compassion on us enough that He sent His own son to die a horrible death so that we could still have eternal life. He did away with the need for continual blood sacrifices. Blood is life and blood is required to sustain life. And by one very major sacrifice, His blood brings eternal life.

      So we must choose today whom we will serve. A temporary life of peace and wealth, or an eternity of no more suffering? Jesus didn’t love His life but asked His Father if there was any other way. Yet He knew whose will He had to follow because He cared more for all of us than Himself. That’s what He calls us to. The life of a servant and not temporary foolish pride.

      • Alisha

        Thank you for your kind words, but the God i know is a cruel God, He is not a Messiah anymore to me.

        • Char Fox

          When we’re hurting, we might question, but I pray you get beyond the questioning and realize that God is not cruel. I pray that He will show you something that will reveal His goodness to you.

          • Char Fox

            Alisha, I wanted to add something more to this. I was hit with something that had me questioning God. I was so angry that I violently slung my Bible under my bed and yelled out in would never read it again. I stewed in that for about 3 weeks before my anger subsided and I felt so bad about it and pulled it out from under the bed.

            God doesn’t do these cruel things to us. Sometimes it’s the work of satan, of others, or even of ourselves. He doesn’t “stop” them, but He didn’t cause them either. Sometimes He allows them to test our faith. Will we still hold to His Word, still trust He is good? He knows where your grandmother is headed, and He wants you there with her. She wants you there too.

            My aunt was faithful to God, even when going through 3 bouts of cancer. She was thrilled that her son finally accepted Christ before she died. My cousin died of cancer about 6 months ago. She held onto a smile through it all and still praised God. She knew this wasn’t the end.

            I’m praying you too will turn back once the pain diminishes. Bad things happen to both good and bad people. But those who serve God knows it’s not the end. He truly is good, even if we don’t see a lot of goodness in our lives here on earth.

            I used to be a very bitter and selfish person who didn’t care for anyone but myself, full of anger and very impatient. Through all I’ve been through, I’m not bitter, I do care for others and I’m learning patience. God has allowed what I’ve gone through for a reason. Is it rough? Yes. But in the end, I’ve learned to be kind to others, which also gives them comfort. So the trials have brought about good to myself and to others. The trials aren’t joyous but they are well worth it in the end. Don’t give up. The pain will heal.